DD(11) Santa and Tooth-fairy

[WelshMoth]

DD still believes and, as today is her final day in primary school, I'm wondering how I should gently tell her that it's all make-believe

She is an anxious child sometimes and will be angry with me for shifting her world like this, but I can also predict that she'll be hurt if I don't tell her and she's crushed at comprehensive by other kids.

She definitely believes. She has no access to social media or unrestricted internet access. How do I handle this?

Bumping for evening traffic

Desperate last bump

Wow this was yesterday!! Decided to tell dd 11+dd10 no tooth fairy as both have lost a tooth this week and she hasn't appeared as yet!! Been working up to the big 'truth talk'!!
They both knew it was me but had been going along with it for the cash!!
And dd 10 just said could she have her £1 now as she wanted to go to the shop!!
I was more upset than them...

Promised to dig out all hidden teeth and notes I have kept over the years (saddo!)

we decided that we had to tell ds about santa at the same age: I couldn't face the idea that he'd start secondary school believing and get the piss taken out of him. He is similarly anxious and we tried hinting a couple of times but he wouldn't bite! Dh sat him down and told him. I couldn't face it! Apparently a single tear went down his cheek, and he just said 'ok'. We have - as a family - then continued to totally ignore this: he just pretends he doesn't know and acts along. His little sister knew FC wasn't real before he did, but we all still pretend together :-)

Gosh OP I'm not sure. Hasn't anyone mentioned it at school already?
Maybe take her for a grown up treat of some sort and say how lovely it is that she's growing up. And then explain!

I wouldn't tell her right near or on the day she finishes primary school, they are so tired and emotional, however they cover it. You have time during the holidays.

I told DD, and she already knew. They talk a lot at primary school as it is. She had been pretending for my benefit!

My DD went to secondary school still believing. She was a quiet child so that saved her. It's a hard one. I really worried but didn't want to spoil the magic. Both boys knew!

Where I live kids tend to believe til about 11 (I was 8 as were my niece and nephew). I know many parents who have had to break it to their kids, some after or in year 7 . My dd asked and I said no, she was upset but ultimately relieved that no strange beings were sneaking into the house at night and swears she has slept better ever since. Despite being a firm believer in all things magical she took it on the chin and had a 10 min time out to get used to the idea before telling me she was fine about it all. I mourned the end of that era more than she did.

Ahh the single tear thing is so heart breakingly sweet! Love your story towel!
Good advice here OP. Wait until part way through the hols and take her out somewhere grown up.

I've just remembered: if you google, there's a lovely letter about how Santa isn't one man: he's the love and care of all of us, looking after each other and doing special things for each other: and that once you are big enough, you become part of that project. It sounds naff but it's quite cute. I'll try and find it for you.

Thanks everyone - very reassuring advice. I will definitely wait as you're right, it's a bit too raw for her at the moment.

towel I wouldn't mind a peek at that letter if you ever find it - sound just about right for a faithful 11 year old.

Found a version on pinterest: here you go www.pinterest.co.uk/explore/letter-explaining-santa/?lp=true

Oh, and just to say: I agree with others that I wouldn't do it straight away - end of Y6 is such an emotional time. Wait a few weeks and let everything calm down a little - the key thing (for us) was to ensure that we'd had the chat before Christmas build up in Y8, so DS didn't make an arse of himself AND find out at school in the worst possible way. You've got a reasonable window to build up to it.

My daughter received a letter from Santa telling her that because there were so many children in the world, he could only get round the younger ones and therefore once she was at secondary school, presents would be given direct from her family.

Brown how did she take it?

She was fine about it. Mind you this was the last of a series of letters she'd had from Santa. It all started when she was 4 and desperately wanted a blue bike for Christmas. We had ordered it by post and when it came it was red and it was too near Christmas to do anything about it. Result, an apologetic letter from Santa explaining how the elves had been messing about and spilt all the blue paint so he hoped she would accept a red bike instead. This started a regular correspondence, letter left with mince pie and carrots for reindeer each year, reply in the top of her stocking. The final letter was sent the last Christmas of Primary school which I guess is not an option for you, although there is no reason why a letter cannot appear by the fireplace, dropped off when Santa went on his Summer holidays before getting down to toy making.