Daughter says she's ugly

[Heathen4Hire]

My DD is soon to be 11 in September. She already suffers from spots, but using a gentle face scrub is helping keep those to a minimum. As a result of this early acne, I think she feels different to her peers and insists she is ugly.

DH and I keep telling her she is beautiful inside and out, but she is adamant she is ugly. She my one and only, so I am in uncharted waters. I have asked her if she is being bullied, or having friendship problems, but she insists she isn't. She is doing extremely well academically and has lots of friends.

Any advice to try and prove to her she is beautiful, and that she means everthing to us, is very welcome. I want the message to get through, somehow.

I have a 12 year old daughter, not classically beautiful - in fact lots of people at school call her 'big nose' and it's really not big!! However what is incredibly striking about her is that she is comfortable in her own skin, when she smiles she shines and people are drawn to her.

There is far too much importance placed on being 'beautiful' give me my happy, confident, childish, gorgeous on the inside girl any day as opposed to the pouting, made up pre teen that seems to be the norm these days.

Continue to build her confidence, you don't need to prove she's beautiful, she sounds perfect as she is.

I felt really uncomfortable in my skin at that age due to hitting puberty much earlier than my peers. My DM telling me I was beautiful didn't make me feel any better to be honest, I think it would have helped me more to have the societal pressures that are placed on women's appearances explaining, and that I didn't have to conform to expectations of anyone else in an age appropriate way. Also repeating that although these changes aren't nice and are difficult, they will pass and you won't feel this way forever. Try and build her self esteem up, not only about her appearance, remind her of other things about herself that she can be proud of.