Help needed!

[Karid1496]

In desperate need to advice on my dd 11 who can be quite introvert at times. The summer holidays have just started and already I am dreading them.

DD is quite happy to stay in and play away herself, making musically videos, drawing or general mucking about in her room. She is not really one for going out with her friends and its really starting to panic me. She has a good group of friends that she plays with at school but during weekends she just likes to chill out by herself. I see a group from her class out all the time but she is happy enough in her own company or playing family games.

Do you think this is normal behaviour or something I should be questioning. I'm a bit of a worrier so Im looking for advice incase I may be making a mountain out of a molehill. Any words of wisdom would be much appreciated

If she prefers not to go out, would she like to have a friend over?

It might just be that she needs the decompression time - as long as she's not on screens in her room (either unsupervised or for a long time) then I'd let her be herself

I'd would offer to take her and one friend to the movies or to lunch and she if she likes that idea

I'd also see if she's embarrassed about her room for any reason (my son didn't want anyone over because he still had a decoration on his wall he thought he would be teased for)

Make sure she goes out at least once a day to do some physical activity - you might have to do it with her to make sure it happens - walk the dog, walk through woods, ride bikes, etc - Other than that, I wouldn't worry too much

Old guard I think your right, she does need a quite a bit of decompression time. I think I'm just taking bad because she used to be out all the time and always wanted to go for somebody. Hormones have well and truly landed and she just seems to prefer her own company without the dramas of being with a big group of girls. She is mostly a happy girl and doesn't complain about not going out.

This is my eldest dd so it's the first time I'm going through this stage and I think I'm over worrying about it.

I think you're overthinking, too. Don't fix it if it's not broken.

You could offer up some activity ideas but don't make her go, they have to appeal in own right.

I often try to get mine to meet up with mates in the swimming pool. Occasionally successful.

I have a 12 year old like this. She's introvert and also struggles with group drama situations. She has different interests to the majority of her school friends that she hangs about with at school. She really needs time to decompress but I encourage her out of her room as well.

It's not quite the same but I'm an adult and Love spending time by myself. I'd happily spend the holidays alone, maybe meeting up with a friend a couple of times a week. Some of us just like our alone time! As long as your dd is genuinely ok with it and not covering up having no friends to hang out with, let her enjoy her alone time !

Brexitsucks I agree, I'm totally overthinking it. The tween years are new to me and I'm so unsure of what to do, haha.

The great thing about Mumsnet is getting that reassurance. Every other parent I talk to seems to have the most outgoing kids so it's nice to hear that this is normal and just the way some kids are.

She is mostly happy in herself. Only really teary when the pesky hormones take over or if I make a big deal about her going out.

I need to mellow out a bit I think, haha