Emotional 12 year old girl

[westendgirlx]

Hello!

I guess I'm looking for a sounding board! My daughter is 12 and I split from her dad 2 and a half years ago. She getting very moody and emotional and I often can't sort out if it's just pre teen stuff, because of the divorce, or whether it's more serious mental health problems. She has had counselling at school, but the counsellor reckons she is coping well I'm not so sure. We also lost her younger sister five years ago and I don't think she has grieved yet.

No point in trying to talk to her dad. We don't get on because he's a strict Christian and is extremely angry about me leaving. Our relationship was strained for years. He also took me to court to get custody last year, but failed. My daughter was upset by this as she didn't want to live with him.

Sounds like you've both been having a really tough time of it. Has she had any specialist grief counselling? My DF lost her DH some years ago and I know it affected the children for a long, long time. The children had a online forum they used to belong to and I think they even went on holiday once or twice with other bereaved families.

Sorry if that's not much use and I've no idea how you would tell if it's hormones, depression or grief.

Can you talk to one another and see what she says?

Thank you for taking the time to reply.

I've tried to talk to her many times...she blanks me or gets so upset she gets hysterical, or goes in a mood and tells me to stop 'going on about the same things a million times.'

She doesn't seem to want to talk to me. That was why I got the counsellor involved.

That's a shame. It does sound like she is finding it hard to come to terms with loosing her sister and her Dad leaving.

What kind of Counsellor was it?

Think I'm going to talk to Cruse bereavement charity to see if they can help. Tnanx

The school nurse!

Her school doesn't have access to a psychologist unless it's very very serious mental health problems and disruption in school. The school nurse is their counsellor.

I mentioned to my daughter about going to the GP for a referral to a counsellor and she just went hysterical.

And how well trained is the school nurse in grief counselling for children?

Yes, please do phone Cruse. It does sound like she would benefit from counselling or therapy sessions.

SEems like Winston's Wish may be able to help too

My dd, also 12 is very emotional, if that helps! We've had a tough few years with family bereavement but nothing like the things you have been dealing with. I am so sorry that you lost your daughter.
12 is a hormonal time, and so some of the emotion may be due to that, and some could be her letting out grief that she has perhaps held in tightly. Agree Winston's wish might be a good idea?