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Preteens

Parenting a preteen can be a minefield. Find support here.

Original poster

9 Year old asking for iphone?

65 replies

MegBarker · 21/03/2017 09:15

My 9 year old daughter came home from school the other day and told me that some of her friends have got an Iphone and asked if she could have one. I was so shocked, she seems far too young in my opinion and definitely not ready to have unlimited access to the internet, especially social media! My husband and I were thinking about getting her a phone so that she can call home if she needs to but she manages to lose everything so I'm worried that she will just lose it or it will get stolen. Does anyone have any words of wisdom? I really don't want her to have an Iphone yet.

OP posts:
Jvmh1978 · 21/03/2017 11:45

Agree sounds like a great idea for my 8 year old who doesn't have or need a phone at the moment. Where do you buy them from? What's the deal with a SIM?

hoddtastic · 21/03/2017 11:47

christ, just say no. Some of my kids' mates have them, their parents spend time spying on call history/whatsapps etc. when if they'd just said no to start with there'd be none of this.

Mine will likely get one the summer before high school- I also find gangs of kids sat staring at tiny screens/uploading photos of themselves with flowers in their hair and ridiculous pouty faces onto snapchat or whatever utterly depressing and ridiculous.

user1489666672 · 21/03/2017 11:51

It holds 2 phone numbers and the SIM picks up any available network so it's rare that you can't get a signal. That was my initial worry because my own phone network is pretty bad and we go cycling in the middle of nowhere a lot but it always seems to pick up a signal.

Original poster
MegBarker · 21/03/2017 11:54

Thanks for all the useful advice everyone!
The Gator Watch looks like a fab idea and exactly what I need. Hurrah! I will look into this! Thanks user1489666672 for sending the details over.

OP posts:
CharlieChopstix · 21/03/2017 11:57

My 10 year old has had one for a year or so. I just pass mine down to him when I upgrade. Don't see the issue myself. I certainly wouldn't pop out and buy one brand new for a child of this age though

AlexanderHamilton · 21/03/2017 11:59

At that age DS had an iPod which basically gave him everything an iPhone had except the ability to call/text. He could iMessage us on wifi.

What you might find is that many kids have their parents old phones. If you've an old iPhone 4 or 5 lying round why buy a different device. You don't have to give unlimited access to the Internet, you can get a calls/text only bundle & it means they can play music & games.

Plunkette · 21/03/2017 12:01

Interestingly there were kids in my DC's UK class with phones (including iPhones) from age 7yo.

We are now in the US and I'm not aware of any of their classmates have any kind of phone.

My kids wouldn't even bother asking, they know that we won't start to discuss a phone until high school.

kelper · 21/03/2017 12:11

My ds occasionally sneaks one of our old iPhones into his possession, and pretends its his, so if asked at school he'd probably say he's got one!
He only wants it to play pokemon go on, but hasn't quite worked out that in order to play pokemon outside the house he'll need internet connection, which he doesnt have in a phone with no sim card.
He'll probably end up with one of them when he goes to high school in 2 years, but we wont have specifically bought it for him if that makes sense.

MirandaWest · 21/03/2017 12:18

If you don't want her to have an iPhone then don't get her one.

A child having an iPhone doesn't mean that the world is about to end though. Or I hope it doesn't anyway

UnicornMadeOfPinkGlitter · 21/03/2017 13:01

dd just turned 11 and got an iphone for her birthday. Its not a brand new one though and is on giffgaff so pay as you go not contract.

that's the earliest that I would get one though. its in preparation for secondary school in September. Previously though she has an ipod and access to ipads so the only difference is she an make calls now.

I would say 9 is too young however know of several people who have given old iphones to younger dc when they upgraded or just that they brought them iphones for birthday/Christmas etc.

Starlight2345 · 21/03/2017 13:25

My DS is 9..I know a few girls who have them more than boys.. My DS knows no phone till high school. Does he ask yes..Does the answer change no..He doesn't need one..He has a laptop at home..He is never without an adult so doesn't need a mobile phone.

WeAllHaveWings · 21/03/2017 13:26

Its only a phone and each parent makes their own decision on when they decide to give in to give their dc one, and what it can access, based on the pros and cons for their child.

My ds didn't have an iphone at 9 because that was my decision, I don't think its shocking other parents give their dc an iphone at 9, the same way I don't think its shocking dc at 15 don't have a basic smart phone yet. I wouldn't dream of telling any other parent 9 is too young just because that's not what I decided for my child.

Dipsydora · 21/03/2017 13:51

Love the watch idea I could avoid giving mine phones completely with that!

SpikyFish · 21/03/2017 13:57

absolutely no ....

Madcats · 21/03/2017 15:18

Yep we caved in and bought DD a refurbished iPhone 5C at Xmas (£129) which coincided with getting a free SIM with our latest phone/broadband deal (though it did take an awful lot of conversations to a lot of call centre people to get them to put a £5 cap on surplus usage). We've disabled photo messaging and made it wifi only by default.

DD does a lot of extra-curricular sport that we don't need to supervise anymore, so knowing where she is saves us a lot of sitting around waiting for coaches to come home (we just track the bus!). She isn't the sort of kid to push boundaries at the moment (unlike some of her acquaintances we see from time to time).

Aside from that she mainly uses it to film stop motion animations play Pokemon and taking photos. At home all IT kit stays firmly on the ground floor or in our study.

So yes, she has a phone but at no monthly cost.

user1489666672 · 21/03/2017 16:11

MegBarker I would highly recommend it. There is now a new feature on the phone where it can call and receive up to 10 numbers - just like having a mobile!

WorshipTheGourd · 21/03/2017 16:21

I too like the look of the Gator watch. Thanks!

Bonkerz · 21/03/2017 16:37

My DD is 11 and we got her an iPhone 4 for Christmas. She can't have Facebook on it as it won't update to recent iOS. It's good for texts and whatsapp etc though. Cost £35 from music magpie.

NappyValleyMum · 21/03/2017 17:23

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

knackeredmumoftwo · 21/03/2017 17:24

Son at 10 had a second hand iPhone 5 - fab camera and loves film making
Free for i messaging and FaceTime
He has Instagram as he loves photography but no other social media

Daughter 9 had an iPod - able to iMessage / FaceTime her friends, plays games etc
Watches YouTube

All her friends have apple products so they chat / message in the evening -I read her messages to make sure I am happy with the content but we do talk about them

If her friends FaceTime / i message as a group then she might want to join and therefore needs access to an iPhone/ iPod/iPad to do so

Dancergirl · 21/03/2017 17:48

We got DD an iPhone 5s for her 11th birthday - costs £18 per month

That's a huge amount of money for a child. Just why?? I pay £7.50 per month with Tesco for a SIM only contract for each of my 15 and 14 year olds.

They got their first phone when starting secondary or just before. There is absolutely no need for a younger child to have a phone.

user1489666672 · 21/03/2017 18:25

I did quite a lot of research when we bought ours and there are cheaper ones out there but the quality is not nearly as good and most only work with one network. The multi network function was a big pull for us.

Oblomov17 · 21/03/2017 18:45

Gave ds1 dh's old iPhone when he was in Year 6, in preparation for secondary.

Buttercupsandaisies · 21/03/2017 19:29

Knackered

Are these iPhone?

I really wanted iPhones. Me and DH have one, they have iPads, DD has an iMac etc so we can sync everything. The Apps are better imp and often cheaper and most kids round here have apple products so if my kids want to be in the group chats etc that go on they need one.

We regularly go camping, skiing etc and I want them to be able to make calls etc when needed. Their contract have a good unlimited calls and texts etc.

The cameras are fab too. iPhones are so much more than a phone and they'll grow with the kids. I found our iPod touch by comparison a complete waste of time.

I don't see the point of buying something for £100 or so for a year or two - iPhones last for years. My old iPhone 4 is still perfect and I've had it years.

smd5018 · 21/03/2017 20:43

I didn't get mobiles for mine till they were in secondary school but it's really up to you. If you don't want her to have one don't get her one. If you start giving in to peer pressure now it might never end! At whatever point you decide she's allowed/needs a phone I would suggest that you get her something cheaper to begin with though - see if she can look after it before you fork out £500!

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