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Ok, so I need to have 'the talk' with my 9yo DD...

8 replies

4foxsake · 14/02/2017 21:24

... and I'm bricking it Blush.

So, as the title says - I have a 9yo DD who I really think I should be having 'the puberty' talk with. The problem is, I'm shit at this sort of thing. Can anyone recommend a nice gentle book (ie not too explicit) that I could get that might help me out? I'm thinking maybe I'd go through the main parts of the book with her, and then leave it with her for her to read and digest in more detail.

Any recommendations (or tips)?

OP posts:
MissisBoote · 14/02/2017 21:28

There's a really good usbourne book. Think it's called 'what's happening to me?'. They do separate ones for boys and girls, but cover a bit of the opposite sex too.

Mine have found it really useful. Easy for them to read for themselves and useful as a starting point for questions.

Biking007 · 14/02/2017 21:31

I've just given that usbourne book to my DD today it's good simple text but covers all the basics clearly - she is 9yrs old too just said "yeah they talking about that at school" but she didn't want to elaborate Smile.

ShowOfHands · 14/02/2017 21:36

I would imagine they've started the talk at school already. Some of her friends will already be going through puberty. My 9yo has breasts, pubic hair etc and school covered sex a while ago (though she knew it all already as we talked about it openly from 4+). Might be worth having a chat to find out what she already knows. Try and think of it as biology. It's as straightforward as discussing lungs and kidneys.

steppemum · 14/02/2017 21:36

Dr Chris (from the TV) does a puberty book
Usborne do a book called 'What's happening to me?' Different one for girls and boys. This is really good for your age dd (better than the Dr Chris book for girls I think)

To be honest, your comment about 'not too explicit' actually worries me.
How much does she know? Do you ever talk about bodies as just part of normal conversation? Does she know where babies come from etc?
9 is pretty late, and she may have a load of misconceptions from the playground.

Dr Chris' book is explicit, takes it right up to teenage, but it is much better to have good information available before it is needed. So I would go over the earlier pages with her, and then give it to her to look at/read at her leisure.

Your key is laid back and informal, let her know any question is OK. if she comes to you with a question you don't know the answer to, or that you think 'NO! she's too young!' try very hard not to communicate that, give her a simple version /age appropriate version of the truth or say, hmm, not sure, I'll have to find out, let me come back to you tomorrow.

Yellowsky00 · 03/05/2017 14:41

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Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

WeAllHaveWings · 14/05/2017 14:24

The books recommended above are the same ones we used. Really recommend talking in detail and often too, don't make any subject taboo, just discuss age appropriately. The more you make it natural to talk about the better, easier and less embarrassing it becomes and she is more likely to turn to you if she needs help or want some playground talk explained.

ChilliMum · 14/05/2017 14:34

Also recommending the books. My dd wasn't keen to talk about it so I bought whats happening to me and the other one where do I come from and I just left them on her bed and said if she had any questions to ask me.

She has never really talked about it with me but this week ds(6) started asking so I borrowed the where do I come from book to read to him and she joined us for the story and was chatting away so clearly she had read and understood it.

If you are not comfortable having the talk the books are a really good place to start.

nicknameofawesome · 14/05/2017 15:38

We got the usborne book. I sat down and went Through the basics in the book with DD then gave her the book for her reference. She asked a couple of questions but not many. She asks Odd ones Occasionally now. I answer as we go.

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