16 year old son and husband not speaking

[user1480525186]

I am at my wits end with my 16 year old son and husband. They haven't spoken to each other in a week. I have 3 older children and this has never happened.
Last Wednesday my son who is very angry with the world after splitting up with his girlfriend swore at my husband and called him a few choice words. My volatile husband hit him and my son carried on goading him. My older son intervened and pulled them apart.
My husband won't speak to my son unless he apologised.
My son won't speak to my husband unless he apologises.
My older sons back my husband.
I agree my son was totally disrespectful but I won't support him because I do not agree with lashing out.
I am stuck right in the middle. I have tried to reason with both but it's a stalemate. I thought it would resolve itself in a day or two but it's been a week now. I feel on edge all the time. Has anyone experienced this?

Yes with dad and my dh. The common denominator was me who they both love and respect. I spoke to them calmly individually putting the other sides point of view and then got them together. There was a load of grunting and posturing with a hand shake at the end. Both went off grumbling but dss knew that everything father did was in his best interests and dh knew that ds was hormonal a boy in a mans nody etc and needed to grow... still not harmonious now but it gets better as the years go by. Two other boys one younger and one older didn't ever get in the situation. Dh and dss are too similar and I have to manage the relationship hth

Your dh is the adult here. Why is he sulking like a baby ? What example is he showing your ds? I can't abide sulking.

Your DH is behaving like a child. He is the adult and needs to resolve this situation.

Thank you for sharing. I am trying to see both sides but I have to agree my husband is the adult but he feels he is totally in the right. My older sons who are 21 and 25 support my husband and say my younger son needs boundaries.
At least I know I'm not alone. Thank you for taking the time to respond. 🙏

The part that worries me is your DH hitting your DS.

I know of a family where that happened. It stopped when DS got big enough and strong enough to hit DF back hard....... Not good.......