age of first training bra/crop top?

[harrypotternerd]

Sorry if this seems a silly question. I was just wondering when girls normally get their first training bra/crop top? My daughter is 9 and is starting to develop. I was thinking of getting her a training bra but don't want to make her grow up too quickly. I cannot remember how old I was when I got my first bra. I also am lost to when and how I should explain periods to her. My family have said 'she is just a little girl. You don't talk openly about that stuff' so they are no help. I am just feeling a bit lost at the moment. She is my eldest and I am trying to figure out when to do all this stuff.

I have a son, so can't help with the bra stuff, but I found the easiest way to talk about puberty was to start the conversation off in the context of his need for deodorant - and talk about how this was the start of a fairly slow transition from child to adult. We had the usborne book about puberty, but I think some of it is stuff that hasn't crossed his mind yet (sex, wet dreams etc), but he's clear he can talk to me whenever. It's been a series of v gentle chats really, and him asking any questions he wants.

I'd say that if you haven't told her about periods yet, you'd better get on with it. There are likely to be girls in her class at school who get their period this year.

At DD's school, they mostly started wearing 'tiny vest' style crop tops in around Y4, even though most of the girls had not started growing breasts. It was a style thing, and I was happy to have in crop tops at that stage because I felt that way it would be less of a big deal when she did start developing.

(I was 12 when I got my first bra. My mother was mortified about EVERYTHING. I vowed never to become that person!)

Thanks guys, I am just completely lost with this, my mother was never one to talk about these things and all my family really just avoid conversations like this so really do not know where to begin.

Crop tops tend to come before bras and Dd wore them in the latter years of primary school. Periods/puberty tended to come up in general conversation rather than sitting down and having a big chat. Maybe ask what she knows about puberty/body changes and work from there. Some of our talks happen in the car and Dd and ds join in (Dd is 13 and started her periods age 11, ds is 10)

My dd (10) started to wear crop tops in yr 4. She's in yr 6 now and as gone into training bras. Had the conversation with her last year where I got her a book so afterwards she could read it through at her own pace.
She has really started to develop this year so I'm pleased we have had the conversation and she was aware of the different changes.After Xmas will probably put an emergency sanitary towel in her school bag just in case.

Lillets does a teen zippy bag starter set which is useful if you want to put supplies in their bag for school. I got ours from tesco

www.becomingateen.co.uk/Products/Starter-Pack

My daughter had crop tops before bras. Then she had the soft bras that Asda Tesco and new look do. Very similar to a crop top really they just have a fastening at the back. My daughter was probably about 10 when she started wearing the soft bras and crop tops before that.
As for explaining periods and things libraries do a amazing book usbourne what's happening to me. Girls version. I read through it with my daughter and missed out bits I didn't think she needed to know yet. It helps you find the right words.
I will also be going to get the boys version to read with my son as he is 10 and starting to ask lots of questions.

My daughters 9, my eldest and in Y5. She hasn't started to develop at all but has been wearing a crop top to school since Y4. All the girls wear them and I think she feels self conscious when she changes for PE.

A few girls have started to develop in her class. About 6 months or so ago when she was 8 she started asking about tampons so we had the chat about puberty and I bought her the Usbourne book what's happening to me which has been mentioned here a few times. She sat and read it and had a few questions, it's very well thumbed!

She doesn't seem at all bothered, I hope she knows she can ask me anything, she has so far although I'm hoping that she's a late developer like me and my mum (14yo) as she's still a very little girl to me.

That looks great demented thank you.

How to start the conversation
"You know your breasts are starting to develop? Do you know what other changes will be happening to your body soon?"
Go with what she tells you and develop from there.
Don't be embarrassed, keep it factual.

Some good books out there 'What's happening to me' is one of them.

Ignore idiot family. Far better you have conversation about periods 3 years early than 1 day too late.

If she is starting to develop I'd ask her now if she wants crop tops, and if she says no then tell her to let you know when she does. (At some point you may need to insist if she stay reluctant).

I was 10 when I got my first bra and I did need a proper bra. Looking at DD, now 8 yo, I suspect she's going to be the same.

Both DD and DS know about puberty and periods and have done for several years. We just discussed it as it came up naturally in conversation.

The rule in our family is that if you ask a question you get a truthful (if age appropriate) answer.

DD started wearing crop tops (the very plain short vest style ones) at 9. It was more of a comfort than style thing as her textured school polo shirt was chafing her when she was vest-free in the summer. It felt a bit strange buyng the first pack but she was so much more comfortable and happy in them. Now just turned 11 and more developed she has just asked for something with more structure...so we went off to John Lewis last week Tried a selection of cotton teen bras with the assistant, not underwired but they were all quite moulded and DD didn't feel ready to look so grown up. The plain cotton triangle bras in the junior section were no support at all. We ended up with these which DD loves. Like a crop top but with strange round pads inserted at the front and stretchy crop top style back without fastening or hooks. DD is not in need of the padding but the assistant said they are popular as make girls feel secure. I guess the best way of describing is a 'crop top bra'.

www.johnlewis.com/john-lewis-seamfree-cropped-bra/p359647?colour=White
Sorry if link doesn't work, will be my first.

I nearly fainted at the price, bought two though and next day we saw rows of the things in Asda ( labelled 'soft bras') in the women's section. Only £6 each but strangely had sold out of all size small and extra small so maybe all the girls are buying them! Sorry to ramble on but as you can see it is a very gradual journey and getting the first simple crop tops does not mean next stop has to be a full-on bra.

I recently found a padded bra.. well training bra. In my daughters washing ( she must of got it while at her dads. )and I was horrified! I spoke to my friends and they think I am over reacting. She is only 10 I still think of her as a baby .. but from reading these messages I think I probably am ? I just think it's like buying her a thong ! You wouldn't do it ! She my only child I just don't know what to do for the best ..

I was eleven when I had my first bra but started to develop breasts at ten. Periods didn't come until I was thirteen.

You really must tell your daughter about periods, I didn't think people were so coy about such things with their daughters nowadays - she's likely to know a bit already anyway but does need to be prepared. Don't discuss it with your family, it's not their business and not fair to your girl, it's a personal matter for her.

You might be surprised what she already knows when you talk to her as school might have told her some of it. I would buy her some Crop top underwear first you can get nice ones in Asda. My DD still prefers these to a bra. As for periods maybe buy the lilets starter pack you don't have to give her the tampons out of it at first if you don't want to, that way you can bring up the conversation of periods and be guided by her.