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Preteens

Parenting a preteen can be a minefield. Find support here.

Totally miserable with 10yo dd's behaviour

5 replies

bellarosa81 · 15/10/2016 16:04

not sure what i am expecting here but sorry for The long post !

dont know what to do anymore. My 10 year old dd has turned into a complete nightmare and i feel miserable and depressed most days.

She is The eldest and she has a 3 year old Sibling, i am heavily pregnant with Number 3.
We moved house this summer and so i understand The upheaval that brings- New School , people etc however she has coped amazingly well and is positive about New friends and activities and is doing well at School- i'm so proud of her!!..... but At home it's another story - No respect for us parents , not listening , not grateful , shouting at us , slamming Doors , speaking to us in a rude way, No empathy for others feelings.

She is a very smart and mature Child and we have Always had such an honest and open dialogue. Right now this is getting us No where. She gets consequences and boundaries but somethings not working. I feel totally defeated and useless.

I feel really down that she shows us such little respect. I know i am probably taking it too personally due to me being very emotional right now.

I can't believe that she is happy with living like this . She constantly argues and has a bad attitude.

Does anyone ever feel upset that The amount of effort and Care they put into parenting is not getting them anywhere???......we are going to book for her to have a meeting with a therapist to talk with an impartial person.

To me it feels it is something more Than The obvious of having a New sibling coming and a move/New School which i am very understanding of btw. Or am i not being enough?

I can't bare to be around her right now it's awful to say . Sad

OP posts:
ShutTheFridgeUp · 15/10/2016 16:08

Any chance she's hitting puberty?

ShutTheFridgeUp · 15/10/2016 16:09

Sorry, posted too soon!
There's a possibility that the old hormones are starting to kick in. Not particularly helpful as advice goes, but something to consider. Hopefully someone wiser than me can offer some helpful advice.

bellarosa81 · 15/10/2016 16:26

Thanks
Yes i have Been thinking about that too. I just want to find a way to support her better/The right way so am reading lots, but when she behaves like i mentioned before i withdraw and close down.

OP posts:
Twolittlejobbys · 17/10/2016 10:34

Yip sounds like hormones to me! My daughter is 11 and although not slamming doors etc her behaviour has changed! Definitely more attitude, thinks things are her right, back chat blah blah blah! May not sound much but completely opposite from what she was like two years ago! Not really much advice sorry except try and spend as much time One to one and chat as much as you can about how she's feeling! Is there any chance she may be getting bullied or picked on? This was part of the problem as my wee girl is super sensitive even if someone looks at her wrong. Good luck 😊

bellarosa81 · 17/10/2016 17:41

Thanks! Smile
She tells me School is fine and she has nice friends but We actually had a good chat last night and she commented about The New baby and Will i Love it more Than her. So i guess that's bothering her more Than i realised. We have had some cuddles and she has Been very sweet. Mood swings - gah!

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