Do I HAVE to tell him?

[Wakemeuuuup]

DS1 is 11 and going into secondary school. He still really, really believes in Santa and I can't bear the thought of having to tell him the truth. So my question is do I definitely have to tell him?

He is a summer born and very innocent. We are also on the waiting list for asd assessment .

Could you gently introduce that not everyone believes in Santa and / or separately introduce the story of St. Nick who is remembered as Santa.
I think you need to tell him something.

I'm not looking forward to the day I need to tell mine.

You don't have to, of course, but I would be worried he might react badly (ie upset) if he gets told at school, which would make him at risk of being laughed at. It would be quite humiliating for him.

Yes you do, the other boys wont be nice about it.

Tell him now before he goes back to school and before its nearly christmas.

I think not telling him and him being ridiculed/having him be angry at you for 'lying' to him would be worse than gently telling him

I would do it in a way that suggests he's real if you believe in that type of thing but some people don't IYSWIM

I am going to tell DS before he goes to high school in a couple of weeks. It is the kindest way. The other kids will never let him live it down otherwise.

I didn't want to tell my DD, but felt I had to before secondary school.
This is probably quite a good time - rather than in the run up to xmas.
Any younger siblings? I know DD gets joy from being on the team, keeping the magic alive for the younger ones.

Thanks everyone. I know I should but I really don't want to. I told him last year that it was completely fine to say in school that he doesn't believe so he could fit in but I don't think that's enough this year. I just need to find the courage and soon!

Maybe you dont need to. My parents never told me. They still went to great lengths to pretend santa was real throughout my teens and still sort of do now im an adult!!!! To be honest i think its very sweet that they do. I just realised myself he wasnt real i cant even remember when or how. But i certainly didnt hate my parents for not telling me, it felt like they really loved me to go to all that trouble just to make things magical.
I think i will do the same for my children xxxxx

His younger brother will be 10 at Christmas and I suspect he won't be shocked when I tell him in 2 years (or before). Ds2 told me he didn't believe when he was 7. I replied with "do you really think I buy all of those presents?"

Are you really really sure he believes? DS2 kept up the pretense for years and had me completely convinced, so that I was worrying about the same thing as he went into yr 7 but actually (ds1 tells me) he knew from about 6yo.

Tbh if he already played along last year with saying santas not real, isn't it likely he will do the same this year? I bet he won't be the only one who still believes.

There's a lovely letter available on Pinterest explaining how all parents are Santas keeping the magic of believing in things you can't see alive. It explains it in a really sensitive way. I have it pinned but I'm not sure if I can post in here!

Exactly the same as openme, I genuinely believed that mine believed. Indeed she still tries to pretend at 16. Her concern is that there may be less things to open if he doesn't existhink. He may be the same.

Well I told him as gently as I could and he sobbed! I feel so bad now. He just said he couldn't believe it and that there was no way DH or I could afford all the presents etc. Turns out he still belived in the tooth fairy too

Oh poor thing, still better he heard it from you than being teased in a few months.

I'm actually quite at this. We never told our DC...DS1(add) went seamlessly from believing to going along with us... He also tested to find out if the tooth fairy was real by not telling us his tooth had fallen out and putting it under his pillow.

Come to think of it my 11 probably believes...she wouldn't say if she didn't, even to her friends.

There are some things which will never be said in this house. When you're old enough to realise you are old enough to go along with it.

I was told by my DM on Christmas Day when I was 9, church car park- because I was making a fool of myself telling people FC had been . I cried, even though I really knew already my mother telling me and smashing the magic of the pretence was horrible. And unnecessary.