My DD is almost 10 and the way she speaks to us is terrible. She doesn't swear but there is several "shut your mouths" "no way and you can't make me" and other phrases full of attitude. Our son has aspergers so he is very hard work but i try so hard to give her positive attention but when she constantly speaks to me like this it is so hard to stay calm. No amount of punishing confiscating or taking treats away works -in fact it just escalates the situation. Ignoring works a bit but when she starts using the attitude in front of other people to get attention I snap. When she was 3 we went through exactly the same but with tantrums she just NEVER gives up and you will NEVER win. Things between myself and my dh aren't great at the moment and I understand she is picking up on this but part of the problem is the way she behaves. If she is like this at 10 how will we cope when she is a teenager!!