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Estranged Dad / New Baby Worries

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Kelnew86 · 16/02/2016 14:48

My 11 year old son doesn't have much to do with his dad, or should I say his dad doesn't have much to do with him! We split when he was 5 months old, he now lives approx 4 hours away which obviously gets in the way of frequent visits, but instead my son sees him once a year for around 3 or 4 days over Xmas, I drive halfway to meet him so he doesn't have to do the 8-hour round trip and when my son comes back to me, he's been fed takeaways and has been allowed to stay up til goodness knows what time playing X-box so of course I'm the most boring, strict and horrible parent in the world! He cries himself to sleep every night for about 1-2 weeks after seeing his dad - all because he doesn't know when he'll see him again, but I get so exhausted arguing with his dad about making more of an effort to see him, he's just not interested it always comes to nothing so I've now given up. He pays maintenance monthly so I can't fault him there, but even the weekly phone calls have now stopped, I don't think his dad has contacted him since Xmas.

My issue is I think my son's step-mum is pregnant.. he hasn't been told anything, I won't tell him as I really don't believe it's my place to. I know he will be upset about it, I guess it's only natural to be. But I am trying to prepare myself for it and his long-term reaction, because I know he'll act all happy about it at first as he'll want to please his dad. How to I deal with this? I actually don't know what words to use, has anyone been through something similar?

I have never ever said a bad word about his dad to him, always made excuses for him, and always gone for the 'let him learn it for himself' but I worry that learning it for himself is hurting him more? Any advice would be appreciated here, we're going through the 'pre-teen' stages, have a 2 year old and I work full-time! It's just all a battle at the moment :-(

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