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Preteens

Parenting a preteen can be a minefield. Find support here.

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Original poster

Do all 11yos have their own phones and ipads?

47 replies

WorkInProgess · 19/01/2016 20:17

DS1 says all his friends do. I have told him I will get him something when i think he is mature enough (he has been very aggressive when asked to stop gaming) but his father (my ex) told him at the weekend that he is old enough to decide whether he is ready or not.

He does get some technology, we have a wiiu, a few games on an ipad and he got a kano for christmas. He can also email from my ipad whenever he wants.

Any thoughts?

OP posts:

ifcatscouldtalk · 19/01/2016 20:43

My dd (11) has a phone. She had a hudl for xmas that was paid for mainly with tesco clubcard points. An ipad I can't afford. Some kids in her class have i pads but she accepts they are very expensive and shes not getting one.

Ragwort · 19/01/2016 20:51

Only on Mumsnet .

We bought DS a mobile the first Christmas after he started secondary school - he is now 14 and certainly doesn't have an ipad. Neither do DH or I - should I start a thread 'do all 50 year olds have ipads '?

ballet - what school really states that all children have to have an ipad or a hudl? .

Hulababy · 19/01/2016 20:56

I would say that, ime, having a laptop/computer is more useful/important than a tablet, when they go to secondary. Dd uses her laptop for school stuff a lot. The iPad is for fun, the laptop is primarily for work (though she loves Sims and has that on there.)

DD's school has no issue with phones at school, so they all have them. Those who started Y7 with basic non-smartphone type ones all ended up upgrading to smart phones within the first year - well, from what we saw with DD's friends and what dd has said.

Original poster

WorkInProgess · 19/01/2016 20:57

And all three of mine also have DSs, mostly for peaceful car journeys

OP posts:

Hulababy · 19/01/2016 20:57

Ragwort - some schools have special deals with parents and it is a high expectation for them to have one. Some schools hand them out o y7 when they start, some ask for prepayment or installments.

PrimeDirective · 19/01/2016 21:04

Most secondary school age kids have a mobile.
Some have a tablet but definitely not all.
It is ridiculous to suggest a school says all kids need an ipad or hudl

Original poster

WorkInProgess · 19/01/2016 21:10

I am planning on speaking to his secondary school to see if he can have a phone just on the bus. But just for texting or phoning.

OP posts:

SchnitzelVonKrumm · 19/01/2016 21:12

My DD got a 20 quid Nokia when she was 11 and a mini iPad (birthday present). iPad not allowed to leave the house and we know passwords etc. She is quite responsible about it (only downloads apps with permission, not allowed Snapchat/Instagram etc and tbh not really interested). Phone for calls and text only. Most of her friends have smartphones (usually parental cast offs).

Melonaire · 19/01/2016 21:23

That sounds reasonable.

I'm a bit confused that he has access to lots of computer games when you say he gets so worked up when asked to stop playing. Is it only certain online games that make him like that?

Original poster

WorkInProgess · 19/01/2016 21:27

Yes, it's the online games

OP posts:

Melonaire · 19/01/2016 21:49

They're so intense that I think even adults can have problems limiting their playing time.

SchnitzelVonKrumm · 20/01/2016 10:49

TBH I would be much more concerned about x-boxes etc than mobile devices as long as access to apps etc is controlled for the latter. Friends seem to really struggle to control their boys' (mostly) behaviour around online gaming.

SaveSomeSpendSome · 20/01/2016 10:52

Dd who is 3 has her own ipad. Its my old one which i had for 3 years before i upgraded so i havent bought it for her.

I would think that at 11 most would have at least an ipad or iphone of some sort but i think it may be from their parents when they have upgraded.

OldBeanbagz · 20/01/2016 11:03

DS (11yo in Y6) has had an iPad for 3 years. He plays games on it but also has the Kindle app so reads on it too. To be honest when he first got it he wanted to be on it all the time (though we restricted it to weekends only during term time), now it's probably an hour a week at most.

He also has an old iPhone of ours which he can use for iMessage & email but we won't put a sim card in it until he goes to high school.

JustDanceAddict · 20/01/2016 15:40

DS is 11. He has had a phone since his birthday last April (in year 6) and I check it on a regular basis. He conducts his social life through whatsapp so it would be very hard for him not to have access to that as all his friends use it. He doesen't really use email or text much.
Other than that I am pretty strict on computer use in that he uses the family Mac in the office for homework, and I can come in at any time, no laptop yet although I would rather he worked in his room he is too young to have unsupervised access to the internet - his room is at the top of the house, which also has some bearing on it. DD has had tablet from beg of year 8 so I may have to relent at that point.
He has a PS4, which is a recent addition, he can get annoyed if I tell him that he needs to stop, but the strop only lasts a minute or so, so I ignore it. Plus, he has to have done his homework first.

JustDanceAddict · 20/01/2016 15:41

Oh, and we did buy him a refurbished 4S iphone as although he did have a hand me down originally, the memory wasn't good enough.

Longislandicetee · 20/01/2016 16:09

I don't have an 11yo but know from niece's experience that in the last year of school everyone got one. She was the last to get hers and she got hers in the summer holidays before secondary school.

NellyTheElephant · 21/01/2016 21:18

I'm a bit shocked by this. My DD (yr 6) is 11 next week. She doesn't have a phone and to my knowledge neither do any of her friends. I have no particular problem with devices (she has a kindle for reading only (internet access switched off) and shared use of a computer with her siblings which has internet, but monitored and child limited software etc. There just doesn't seem any need for phone / emails / texts / etc yet. Although I suppose I do get if travelling to school on their own which might start quite soon for some. Maybe in 6 months or so this will all change for us - we'll see......

pixZie78 · 21/01/2016 23:42

Mine got a phone just before turning 10 when she started walking to school and back on her own and going to the park etc on the way back from school - more for my peace of mind really so I could find out what she was doing and when she would be back. Now she's in secondary school everyone has a phone.. and they really all do seem to have quite posh smartphones which I was surprised about. I find it useful being able to contact her after school if I'm at work. The school allows seemingly unrestricted access to phones which is a bit odd - they even take videos in class (of science experiments and the like) although normally they're not supposed to get them out in lessons.. at first I thought it was a problem but now I'm not so sure - it must take a lot of time and effort policing phone use and I'm sure the teachers have got better things to be doing....

SakuraSakura · 21/01/2016 23:50

My dd has phone, we don't have a tablet.

Radiatorvalves · 21/01/2016 23:53

DS is the oldest child in his primary school and doesn't have a phone. Nor do most of his friends. Quite a few have iPods, him included (11thbirthday present). He will get a basic phone in the summer.

He borrows my iPad occasionally. He uses home computer a bit. They have DSs for mainly car journeys, a PS4 at weekends and a Wii no one uses.

TeenAndTween · 25/01/2016 12:15

Most of the y6s at DD2's primary have phones. A number walk themselves to school and leave their phone at the school office for the day.

11yo DD2 in theory has a phone (old, non-smart) but only for when out and about on her own. She just received a cheap tablet for Christmas.

When she starts secondary we will probably start her off on DD1's old phone, but with internet access turned off.

We have also just set her up with an email address, but she's not used it yet.

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