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Preteens

How do I help my 10 year old son?

2 replies

SillyStuffBiting · 27/08/2015 17:44

I'm at a loss. He's a gentle, kind chap. He's considerate and patient and rarely loses his rag. He's also very tall for his age, strong looking (think rugby player build) and a bit awkward (mild dyspraxia).

Towards the end of term before the summer there was a few incidences of a girl in his class following him up the road home, tormenting him and making threats. He tries to ignore or reason but isn't comfortable with it. We dealt with that through the school. There's a large group of lively noisy kids who walk together up to our area. He's not fussed about being a part of them but on the whole gets on with them all (girl previously mentioned aside).

Yesterday 3 boys (one in his year, 2 older) hit him several times with their scooters, swore at him and called him names. He didn't retaliate, just took the abuse. This makes me sad. I saw what was happening from the house, went out and put a stop to it only for one of the boys to verbally attack me! My son then saw red and lunged for him but I held him back.

I couldn't get a hold of the school yesterday and when I called this morning the secretary said it was being dealt with and the head would be in touch. I called again after an hour and they were fully aware of what had happened.

What I didn't know at this point is that on the way to school one of the boys had started calling him names again. My son got of his bike, went over and punched him several times. This was why the head has called my son in, but then got the full story.

They aren't taking action against my son. They accept it is what it is. The community police school liaison guy will be in to speak to the other boys.

The one my son punched is new to the area and the school and according to the school quite ashamed of himself and wasn't aware he was aligning himself with two notorious trouble makers. He's been spoken to but it won't be taken further, unlike the other two.

The head went on and on about safety in numbers and how my son should walk with the big group but these other boys infiltrate that group and going on previous form they aren't the most loyal bunch.

I want to help his confidence and teach him to stand up for himself. I'm not proud that he resorted to violence this morning but let's just say he won't be punished for his actions.

He has friends at school but they don't live near. How can I help him?

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SillyStuffBiting · 27/08/2015 17:47

To add some perspective this is the boy who left karate as he didn't like hurting people. He's also been upset about hurting this other boy and said he didn't like the way it makes him feel n

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Vernonon · 03/09/2015 16:36

I actually think your boy was provoked beyond reason - and they may well leave him alone now he's punched someone. My primary school bully picked on everyone until one day he challenged a new boy who was very gentle but big - new boy won the fight, bully stopped picking on people. We were all absolutely thrilled; new boy never wanted to talk about it because he'd been brought up to walk away from violence. He did the right thing and it really helped us all.

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