Leaving children at home alone

[Ihavenobrain]

Would it be unreasonable to leave an 11 yo and an 8 yo to go to the very local shop for half hour?

We have a yale and a mortice on the front door, I just leave it on the yale if I'm out and the kids are home - so it's locked from the outside but they can get out.
All other external doors are locked all the time regardless of who is home, unless they are open (summer etc) but the keys are in the locks.

We are away atm and I'm happy to leave 12 and 9yo in the apartment for upto an hour while we pop to the supermarket, go for a stroll to the beach if they don't fancy it etc.
I 2ont leave them round the pool area on their own though (well would with 12yo, but not 9yo and not together).
They gave also both been to the nearby bar for bread in the mornings alone.

We live in a small village (if that makes any difference) and I only started leaving my son alone when he was 11 or so, and then for only a handful of minutes - such as nipping to the village store for milk. Now he's 13, we'll leave him for up to three or four hours, but no longer than that.

I also have a four year old and a three year old, and I'm looking forward to the days when I leave the teenager in charge when he's older. Roll on getting the odd night out!

My eldest ones are just 11yo and 8yo.
We have been leaving the nearly 11yo at home alone since Christmas. He enjoys the peace,and just plays with his toys or watches Harry Potter. The back door is locked but the key is in it,so just turn to open.
The 8yo I wouldn't leave. He would try to climb up to get biscuits or something, and they fight and try to kill each other sometimes,so I really can't see me leaving them both for quite a while.
However, 8yo doesn't want to be left anyway,so all good.

Methe I AMAZED you left a 6yr old at home on their own....what were you thinking???....That is completely irresponsible. There is a LOT of encouragement on here to leave your children at home, lots of posts with fluffy words of reassurance, no one is actually discussing the risks of leaving a 6yr old on their own! That is very messed up. There is nothing wholesome about leaving children on their own when they are too young, and no amount of false reassurances will change that fact.

At 11yrs there is a need for some independence of course, in a measured and considered way. At 6yrs that is plain and simple neglect whether you like the word or not.

When I was at university I remember an 18 year old who wouldn't stay in his student house alone - he was terrified of being alone, because he'd never been in a house alone ever, prior to leaving home...

Heart what is your agenda trying to shame people for their parenting decisions with emotive language and vague threats of "something" happening backed up by no facts at all? In most countries in Europe 6 is exactly the age at which children start waling to school without adults and being left home alone for 10 or 15 mins. The UK is a funny place, and MN has its contingent of people who feel that if what somebody else deems appropriate surprises them it must therefore be outrageous and wrong.

I'm quite happy with my parenting decisions. My 6 year old wasn't on his own, he was with his ten year old sister. Thousands of people let their kids roam the streets on their own, I don't, but I feel quite confident they will be ok in the house for ten minutes. They know all the neighbours, can use the phone, they're quite sensible and tbh anyway they will have spend longer on the house on there own while I'm cleaning the car, in the greenhouse at the bottom of the garden, chatting to a neighbour They're not used to being tied to my apron strings.

I leave my 11 yr old (almost 12) for short periods. She'll also pop out to the shop for milk etc. My 9 yr old we don't leave (other than leaving the flat for 2 minutes to put rubbish out etc). He has ASD and I'm not sure if we will leave him when he's 11 as he has much less awareness, much less sense of danger etc. I also wouldn't leave the two of them together for much length of time as he can be very volatile and she would feel the need to be responsible for him (which she generally does by being very bossy and making him even more volatile in response).

I agree with heart, 6yrs is way too young. Leaving a 10yr old with that much responsibility is not fair. 6yr olds have no idea about risk, it is just plain stupid to think otherwise, and if your 10yr is stuck in youtube (which is whole new story without supervision) and doesn't notice or particularly care (and why should they) what the 6yr old is doing, that is dangerous. If I saw dc being left regularly at that age I would call ss for sure.
I dont think Heart has an agenda, I just dont think people like the fact that other parents prefer to keep their kids safe until they are older ie 11yr/12yr. It is bizarre that many posters on here think it is a good idea to do anything else we are talking about the 10yrs and under age group, not the older kids who need risk and independence. We dont live in 1970s little England anymore.

My ds is 10 and not very sensible. I do try to talk streetwise scenarios and conversations with him on a regular basis. That said about once a month he will be on his own for up to 90 minutes while I e.g.go to Tescos or something similar. I don't leave him on his own while I socialise it has to be something sensible! He knows my mobile number, knows how to use the landline and knows how to call 999. I also don't let him answer the door while I am out.

Once he is 14 I will feel comfortable going out one evening a month - I can honestly say I can't wait - but until then given I have no family support and the ex lives over 100 miles a way I have to put up with no social life bar a snatch of time in the day (I am a single parent).

It is just one of those things really and nothing can be done as I can ill afford sitters.co.uk for an evening out. My main social life route is a spiritual group on a Tuesday afternoon.

Parents who regularly leave their very young children on their own should be hung drawn and quartered. I do think however from approximately the age of 8 most children should be learning those life skills slowly building up the time amounts gradually ....