Hi Teacake, thanks for your reply. My email did not notify me of a response otherwise I would have done so sooner
Because she is like this, it makes me not want to treat her or have a mum/daughter day out or time. I have booked a London trip for next week but as I told her, I am currently not looking forward to it because I don't want to waste time and money arguing. Every time we go out for day, beforehand getting ready, there is always a row that she causes. She cannot just get ready normally. She has to fuss over clothes, how they feel, gets frustrated if something doesn't feel right etc and invariably, the day starts off with an argument. I have told her after a few years it would be nice just to get out the door. I know she does a lot for attention/reaction and I just simply find it so hard to bite my tongue!
I do feel a bit distant because she is not into boys, makeup or girly clothes really. But at same time I am glad she is not if that makes sense. I worry that she is setting herself apart and will be left on own at secondary because she is not into these things, even though she seems pretty happy with herself in that she isn't bothered that her friends like makeup and clothes. Perhaps it is more my issue than hers?? I suppose I automatically assume she should be interested in these things which might give us something to bond over but because she isn't, I don't know what to do! She is very artistic and creative, all she does at home is draw, colour, make things out of anything and do arts/crafts. No idea where she gets it from because I am not artistic or creative in anyway lol
She is having a few body issues at the moment too. I would not mind but she is as slim as you like - just had a bit of a belly which I had at that age, which went when I went to secondary. She won't hear that it is "puppy fat". She is the same size as most of her friends but says she feels fat and ugly beside them.She is very stubborn and argumentative, and just won't hear what you say. She has a habit of twisting everything you say into something completely different or taking something the wrong way. A few years back this pattern of behaviour was so bad I was on the floor crying in the corner because I could not cope. I nearly took her to a psychiatrist because I thought this can't be normal. It was driving us as her parents to distress and causing it with the grandparents too. She thankfully grew out of it near the end of last year but since Easter it has come back again. It gets me very depressed and down, and it is like she simply does not care. I do feel at breaking point if I am honest. Her Dad and grandparents have all talked to her but to no avail, it carries on.
She is choosing not to spend time with me these days - she plays out, or goes out with her friends or is in her room. I know she is older now so she wants to spend less time with me but then she twists it and says I am obviously not wanting to spend time with her! It is clearly just to get a reaction because she knows that is not true. She also has a tendency to play up in front her Dad when I drop her off and she goes into high whiny squeaky mode like a baby. I just don't know how many times I can keep either telling her off, punishing her or ignoring. Feel at end of tether.
On the whole she is generally a good girl - she has never been badly behaved, always polite when asking about something, says her pleases and thank yous etc - I just cannot cope with the rudeness when I ask something or suggest something.
Sorry for long post - it has been nice to let it out on a forum tbh as feel I am boring my friends a bit :( x