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Preteens

Parenting a preteen can be a minefield. Find support here.

12yo DS and food

5 replies

Dotty342kids · 29/06/2015 14:32

My 12yr old DS has to walk through our local town on his way to / from secondary school, past the temptation of newsagents, Aldi etc
He also has £3 a week, to spend on a hot lunch one day, rather than having a packed lunch.

I've lost count of the amount of conversations I've had with him about making decent food choices from the school canteen (we can log on and see what he's bought!) as cakes, bacon butties and squash type drinks feature a LOT!

Also, I'm forever finding empty wrappers from sweets or chocolate bars in the bottom of his bag - and sometimes things like entire empty packets of things like custard creams. He is using his pocket money for things like this, which also concerns me as it means he isn't saving up for things like spending money for holidays / days out.

Had a good chat with him yesterday and established that it's mostly down to peer pressure - his mates buy that kind of stuff, share it with him and then of course he feels under pressure to do the same. Suggested things like saying "no thanks" to them, so that he doesn't feel obligated, or perhaps saying to them that he can only buy stuff in return on a Friday, when he gets his pocket money (little white lie but it'd help to limit it) etc but am stuck as to what else to do.

Would really appreciate any ideas or help Smile

OP posts:
FieldTrip · 29/06/2015 14:51

I have very similar issues with my 12yo.

DS1 has always been careful and considers carefully how best to get value from his cash but DS2 (the 12yo) just loves to spend. He doesn't really care what he's buying.

I've started paying their pocket money by standing order into the bank. He still has free access to it through the ATM, but he has to go to the bank first, before spending, which does stop those impulse buys.

Dotty342kids · 29/06/2015 15:40

Yes, I've been thinking about that idea. Sounds very similar to my DS, acts first and thinks later (which worries me no end when it comes to other, later, teenager behaviours!).

What acct does yours have? Does it just withhold the card if there's not enough funds for them to take any out?

OP posts:
JennyFromTheNorthEast · 02/08/2015 23:00

I've had this issue with my 12 year old, he eats constantly while at school and on the way home. I give him quite a lot of money but he spends it immediately and it's causing him to get very fat a bit plump.

Hellion7433 · 02/08/2015 23:05

Only give him cash each Monday, if during the previous week he's bought healthy foods. If you can see poor spending habits on line, the following week provide packed lunch foods.

BackforGood · 04/08/2015 19:50

I think it's a phase they all go through - or most dc, at least. It's part of the reason we give them small amounts of money isn't it - so they learn to handle it. Of course they will make choices you would prefer they didn't, but I don't think £3 worth of "naughty things" is going to do too much long term damage.
Keep talking to him both about the fact that once his money is spent, it's spent, and you'll not be replacing it, and also giving him phrases or suggestions he can use if he is feeling peer pressure, but, ultimately, it's something that dc will do - spend their cash on junk - for a while. Bit of a 'pick your battles' issue IME.

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