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Preteens

Parenting a preteen can be a minefield. Find support here.

Original poster

Anxiety in DD aged 8yrs

8 replies

Lou47 · 13/05/2015 09:50

Hi all, can anyone advise me?? My DD is having a rough time at mo. She is an "Only" & feels "scared to grow up, about getting a job" and worries so much it is disturbing her sleep! We have had several months of this now, tried meditation & yoga (in a fun way), but her fears seem to be growing daily. Is this normal phase??? I don't remember my nieces going though this at all & I was VERY involved in their young lives (Mum divorced). I want to help her, but I'm at a bit of a loss what to do!! We have reular qulaityfamlytie bu it is usually at bedtime that these fears rear their heads....At first I thought it may have been a ruse to get out of bed, but it seems too much to be so. Thank you

OP posts:
ShelaghTurner · 13/05/2015 10:00

Sorry, no advice, but I have an extremely anxious 7yo dd who is getting worse and worse each day. She worries about everything, now won't go to the park in case there are dogs (no previous issues with dogs), won't go to the cinema etc because it's too big...There's very little in her everyday life that doesn't cause major anxieties.

So please can I lurk here because I'm starting to worry about her.

Original poster
Lou47 · 13/05/2015 10:13

Same here!!! My daughter was badly stung by bees 3 years ago, but now won't go outsid eto play in case there are bees! She lterally hyperventilates if "anything" flies by, & needs to be held for about 3 minutes if a fly goes by. she won't have her window open in case. this I can mor eunderstand but the worry about everything is so over-riding now :(. Do lurk Shelagh, hopefully someone can help us both! x

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Fanjango · 13/05/2015 10:17

My 10yo ds has been seen by CAMHS about his anxiety. He's become distressed about the wind, rain, sea, being alone upstairs. He has dyspraxia and I think the pressure of school, yr 5 is just too much for him. They recommended a book called "living with fear" by Isaac M Marks. May be worth a read

Original poster
Lou47 · 13/05/2015 10:29

Ok, bought that on ebay, 99p! I shall have a read, thanks Fanjango x Just had call from school.....she has been crying in class as worried I may be unwell at home! (I do have multiple medical issues so I understand but it makes me sad)

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ToffeeWhirl · 13/05/2015 10:33

I have an older son with severe anxieties, so I sympathise. Some children just have a more anxious disposition. This book is really helpful - I used to read it to him every night.

If your DD's anxieties continue to grow and affect her daily life, CBT (Cognitive Behavioural Therapy) is the answer. It has been fantastic for my son. The above book uses a CBT approach, but sometimes you need a professional to deliver it. It doesn't sound as if you are at that stage, though, and hopefully reading the book together plus lots of reassurance will really help.

One of the most important lessons I learned from sitting through CBT sessions with my son was that giving in to the fear is the worst thing you can do. Continued exposure (in small steps) is the best way to gradually rebuild confidence.

My younger son started to get very scared of bees and wasps after a summer when he was stung by both. For a while, he didn't even want to go out to the local park in case there were bees. I insisted that we keep going, but I kept visits short to start with and kept reassuring him, explaining that the bees and wasps didn't want to sting us, etc. We also watched The Bee Movie, which is a lovely kids film about bees.

QueenCardigan · 13/05/2015 10:40

Can school provide any input? At our school we have a family liaison officer and a play specialist and my dd has been benefitting hugely from sessions with both.

Original poster
Lou47 · 13/05/2015 11:20

Thanks ToffeeWhirl, we have had the "little & often" approach, even resorting to bribery to get her into a play park (she has many allergies so an ice cream is a HUGE treat!!). I have even sat with a bumble bee on me to show her its ok, but that fear is so strong. QueenCardigan, The schools answer is "Oh, perhaps she needs a Dr" so feel that there is no support there really (though they do call me if she gets too stressed, like today, when she worries I am unwell. I can go in & hug her, or talk on the phone whichever I feel is needed. We have tried deep breathing & relaxation exercises, & I'm hoping the book will help us further...I don't want this situation to escalate any more, but then I don't want to "miss" anything that is saying she needs more help x

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Chrysanthemum5 · 13/05/2015 12:31

Hi My DD is also quite anxious, and we use the book Toffee has suggested. It really is very good, DD found it very helpful.

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