Help please! Patience needed. I am turning into nasty shouty mum,.

[Thewildthingsliveatmyhouse]

Hello. I feel like I am going mad. Hubby and I have 3 dc's. DD1 is almost 12, DS is 9 and DD2 is 7. He works full time, I work part time. We have 3 dogs (one is a puppy). I also do a voluntary thing which takes up some of my evening time.

I have zero patience. I feel like I just clear up after people all the time. I am constantly on at the kids to help me out around the house. DH is good and helps out where he can but I just feel so exhausted! When the kids were younger I was mostly at home with them and not working, but now I am trying to juggle more things I am struggling to stay on top of everything.

The kids say I don't like them to have fun, which is sort of true because it usually ends in tears!! The kids are generally good and people always report how well behaved they are, however at home I feel like I constantly nag.

It was mentioned at parent's eve lately that DS goes from 0-10 temper-wise with nothing in between and this makes things difficult with his friends. I am the same!!! How can I change this? I have tried "not to sweat the small stuff" but my DH can have a very laid back attitude towards behaviour, manners etc and I feel exasperated!!! Any help or advice appreciated please! Do I just need to lower my standards? I feel that the kids' behaviour is a reflection on me. Sometimes I just want to run away from it all!!! HELP!

Cut back on the voluntary work. It sounds like something has to give, either you or one of the things you do. I assume you can't give up work, wont get rid of the dogs and like all the children equally so therefore it has to be the voluntary work that goes until you're back on an even keel.

I agree with cd, you are overstretched and may need to leave voluntary work for when your kids are a bit older. Do they have chores and help with the household? If not then they should be. Also have a look at this: theorangerhino.com/

Thank you both. well today I haven't shouted at all, so I know I can do it. We have all been much happier as a consequence. so onwards and upwards and I will not be so shouty from now on! plenty of counting to 10 from me and I'll have a look at that link. thanks both.

I found the book How to Talk So Kids Will Listen really really helpful.

I'd also be looking at your workload, and if you can cut down on your voluntary activities. Not saying you have to give it up, but can you cut back to just a couple of evenings a week.

Stop for now the voluntary work and why get a puppy when you have two dogs already ?
If they are polite out of the house that's great But they won't be able to keep that up in the house. I think you need to take a step back get rid of the extra stress to enjoy and be less harassed. Perhaps look at anger councelling for both you and your s. Sometimes shouting becomes instinctive.

You've got too much to do, that's why you are stressed. I agree that you need to give up the voluntary work.

You need to divvy up the chores so that everyone is pulling their weight.