Making friends

[TooBusyByHalf]

DD is almost 12, yr7, started secondary with none of her primary friends at the same school. She has made 2 friends (who are twins) (plus a third somedays). She says she is shy and can't speak to the other kids, and it is obviously making her a bit miserable. She is doing really well academically and has joined sports and music clubs. The teachers say she is quiet and clever.

DP thinks we should think about getting her counselling to build her confidence but I am anxious about labelling her or pathologising what is probably a normal thing.

Thoughts on (1) helping her make friends (2) overcome shyness and (3) whether counselling is a good idea please. Thanks.

Thanks for that - will definitely look that up series.

Anyone else have experience of this? Or thoughts about counselling?

In wonder if the problem is severe enough to warrant counselling, but a couple of sessions won't hurt. Maybe try and coach her yourself, using input from books and articles, before you go the counselling route? Encourage her to invite people home from the clubs she belongs to. If she is hesitant, get the parents' phone numbers and set something up for her. My 12 year old isn't shy but goes through phases of saying she doesn't have any friends. She is also useless at organising her own social life, if I don't arrange dates then she will never socialise outside of school, even though she wants to.