Ds's bad attitude towards school

[comebacksun]

I am really hoping someone can help me.... Ds is 11, year 6. He says he hates school, and since Christmas, his teacher says his attitude has really changed for the worse. It's like he's trying to become the class clown and putting zero effort into his school work.

He says there's no point in trying as he wants to be a gamer. I've tried to explain that he can have hobbies for his spare time (making videos, playing computer games etc) but he'll need a good education so he can get a job that he enjoys and earns him enough money to live on.

He really thinks that he'll be able to earn all his money from making youtube videos. How can I convince him that school is important? He is adamant that it's not and he's basically stopped trying at all and doesn't seem to care.

I also wonder if it's because he doesn't feel good at anything (he's admitted this to me) so would rather not compete than come last in everything. There are some really bright kids in his class and his self esteem has always needed boosting. He's always been average.

Is there anything I can do or say to improve his attitude and convince him that school does matter? Thank you!

[TeenAndTween]

Isn't being a 'gamer' in some ways like sport. Many people try, only few succeed, and you always need a backup plan.

If he makes loads of money from it, he'll need to know he's not being ripped off with contracts, and how to invest his money wisely. He'll need good maths and English.

What we wants age 11 he may not want age 18. He needs to keep his options open. Maybe he'll want to code games rather than play them? he'll need good maths and science for that.

There will always be people cleverer than him. And always people less clever. He needs to not compare against others, rather he needs to aim to do the best he can. Then he'll have more choice in life.

Oh, he also needs to not muck about in class as that's rude to the teachers and inconsiderate to the other pupils who are trying their best.

You've probably said all that already. Good luck.

Failing that - try bribery - good reports from school = more time gaming or new games to buy. Bad reports = games removed or less time online.

[cdtaylornats]

He doesn't need good maths and science to code. He needs good English to code professionally, reasonable arithmetic and an understanding of doing things methodically. If he wants to game professionally then you should insist he sticks to a schedule similar to someone who wants to be a swimmer or gymnast, up early for practice, school, proper healthy food, practice, homework, practice, early bed. No lie ins at weekends, no parties, no hobbies just lots of practice and goals to attain.

[comebacksun]

Thank you for your replies. The problem is that he's only 11, so how can you know what you want to do with the rest of your life at that age?

My worry is not really that he wants to be a gamer, but that he doesn't care about anything else. I feel like he's going down a bad path, and at the end he won't have anything. Maybe it's just the pressure of SATS (he thinks he's going to do badly) and after he'll start trying again?

Teenandtween, I've said all that to him, but it goes in one ear and out the other. I know I can't force him to try his best and care about school, and that's why I'm feeling so hopeless and sad. I wish there was something I could do or say to make him realise that he's throwing away every opportunity given to him.

Thank you for your thoughts.

[comebacksun]

oh and I've said I would give him £30 for all A's for attitude on his report. At first it worked and the teacher said he'd improved (just before half term) but now it's back to negative attitude again, so that's worn off.