Hey Guys,
I've not used forums like this before but am kind of running out of ideas and in desperate need of some advice/assurance that I'm not alone in this!
I have 2 daughters, 7 and 10, the youngest is prone to the odd tantrum but still at that age where distraction is a fool proof technique, but, the 10 year old.. what the hell?? Since when did they turn 2 again?? With attitude?!
She has never been the easiest child, having raised her alone without the input of her absent father I did the best I could, I was 17 years old when I had her and had no clue about anything but did the absolute best I could, I read every book, attended classes and groups and made every effort to be the best I could be for my kid.
We had a great relationship, even when I met someone and her little sis came along we were just as close, closer even!
She has always had an alarming naivety about her, she has far too much trust and for that reason I suppose I have been somewhat overprotective and maybe at times a little overbearing for her, but, I have made every effort to back off a little, give her some space, not make her look 'uncool' in front of her friends etc..
She has never had contact with her father, he is contactable but unreliable and chooses not to bother with her.. of course at the moment that's my fault.
She has a great relationship with my now husband and he has never treated her as if she wasn't his own, he considers himself her father as he has raised her with me for 8 years, so he's also feeling a little bruised emotionally.
She has become moodier, resentful, ungrateful and emotional! One moment she manically laughing, the next she's having an emotional breakdown and acts as though the world is ending.. she rolls her eyes at me, lies to me, answers back and has told me on several occasions that she wants to die :( and that nobody would care or miss her :( I will be the first to admit that I haven't handled these changes well, and I have gotten cross, impatient and frustrated.
So I read some advice about not engaging in her drama and just try to reassure her etc.. makes it worse..
I was told to ignore it.. makes it worse..
I was told to try and be sympathetic to her problems.. Makes it worse..
I was told to stamp it out immediately, lay down the law etc.. makes it worse..
I get that she has a million hormones rushing around and that her world, that is unchanged, is confusing, that she's trying to find her place in it etc.. I understand all of that.. but I don't know what the hell to do about it!!!
I cant be alone in this..!!
..sorry for the essay, feel a little better!!