How can I help DD 11 cope with her emotions / hormonal changes?

[Alabamarama]

Over the last couple of months, my cheerful, laid back 11 year old has been flooded with pre-teen hormones, and every few weeks spends a couple of days crying as soon as anyone looks at her, shouting at her little brother, and generally just being sad and easily wound up. During and afterwards, she'll say how she hates feeling like this, how sorry she is for upsetting her DB, and how she just can't help it.

I've been as supportive as I can be, reassuring her that it's normal, that whilst it might not go away for a while, she will recognise the feelings and will begin to cope better with them over time. I've also asked my DS to keep out of her way if he can when she feels like that, and reminded her that he doesn't understand why she's like this and gets upset when she lashes out at him.

I feel so sorry for her, she hates feeling like this, it's not like her at all, she's usualy so happy and chilled.

So I was wondering if there's any vitamin supplements or anything else that she could take that would help with these symptoms. Any suggestions would be great, thanks.

[BouleSheet]

This is my DD too! So just piggy-backing on your OP to see if anyone has some pearls of wisdom Alabamarama

[Alabamarama]

Oh BS it's hard to watch isn't it?

[Endler32]

My dd is the same, she's spending more time in her room, I'm often scared to say anything to her incase I upset her .

[SillyPops]

I'm in my 20's but can so clearly remember feeling like this. It WILL pass, just give it time. Maybe give her stress coping strategys? You can tell her it's perfectly fine to say she wants a time out or similar. Just support her, which you sound like you are doing. And good luck!!

[BritabroadinAsia]

In the same boat, and very interested to hear about supplements if anyone has had any joy?

[hope03]

My dd is the same. Use the times she's calm to tell her you get it and reassure her it's normal to feel that way at this age. Sometimes I'm spoken to in a way that makes me furious with her and have to back off and remind myself I've been there and she can't help it.

[Endler32]

My 11 year old is the same ( posted a similar thread last week ), some days are scared to look at her because she cries.

[TooBusyByHalf]

My DD also like this at times. Doesn't anyone have any strategies for helping them all cope?

[HenriettaBarnet]

mine was like this when she was 11. She used to shout at me, say the most vile things, and then afterwards say that she had no idea why she was saying those things, that she didn't understand why she had behaved like that.


I couldn't stop it, but the good news is that it passed. she's 14 now and mostly normal. (well a bit teenagery but not so horrible anymore).

[frogspawn72]

Sorry to hear this - and it sounds very similar! I joined today to try and get some answers for my DD11's sleeping problems, but recognise this hormonal flip flopping for sure!
She has been dealing with a whole host of issues which have led to feelings of anxiety, from preparing for senior school, low level bullying in school, exam pressure (from herself, not us), new babies in the wider family PLUS all the hormonal changes raging!
A friend who is a psychologist has suggested she might benefit from taking ten minutes to herself (especially but not exclusively before bed) to do some colouring in. Just the mindless task of colouring (there are some beautiful grown up books out there - this is getting popular amongst adults too!) allows her to switch off for a bit, away from technology, take herself off to a quiet place and chill.
She has always loved drawing and writing, so this is a bit of a departure for her, and it's noticeably more tense when she forgets to do it!
Other tips were to get her to notice when she starts to feel herself getting agitated, such as twitchy feet, fingers, then jaw tensing and muscles. By working on noticing on these and actively thinking about breathing slowly, she is becoming more aware and hopefully will help her to spot the warning signs before it gets out of control. Good luck!