My feed

to access all these features

Parenting a preteen can be a minefield. Find support here.


Help with 9 year old son - clueless mum and boybits

8 replies

jessied · 07/02/2015 12:52

Posting this under a new account here as I'd be horrified if my DS ever found this. I am a single mum, and my DS turned 9 a few days ago. There is no man around, it is just me and him.

I have two questions to ask advice on, sorry in advance if this is too much information but I don't know where else to turn and I know the advice here is as good as it can get.

  1. My DS is getting erections, a lot of them! He has had them since birth, but thankfully I have not been subjected to seeing one for a few years before this, but in the past 6 months or so it seems to have gone into over drive, so much so that he has come to me in tears several times after putting him to bed to complain that his willy 'has gone big' and won't go down again, complete with pulling his PJ's down to show me (the horror). He also seems to have a little tent in his PJ's very frequently such that it is hard not to notice.

    Is it normal for him to get so many erections and is there anything I can tell him to do to get rid of them? It did look a bit uncomfortable sticking right against his tummy (is that normal?) so I can see how it might hurt him, but I am at a loss as to what to say other than to go and have a wee, which results in clean up duties for yours truly afterwards. What are your boys like with erections? Is this unusual?

  2. Secondly, I think probably triggered by problem one, he seems to have started to masturbate! I have caught him doing it several times when taking in his washing and the like. I don't mean the little fiddle that boys do, but proper adult masturbation. I knew he would start up on this eventually but he seems too young, he is still my baby! Is this normal for a boy his age? did your boys start about the same time?

    I am completely clueless when it comes to boy bits. I love him to death, but there are times when I wish he was a girl because at least I understand those! Not having a man around doesn't help either as it means he is stuck with a clueless mummy instead.

OP posts:
AuntieStella · 07/02/2015 12:56

To answer your questions:

a) yes, normal
b) you do nothing as there is no need to reduce
C) yes, normal

There is no need for examples of from other boys, as everything you describe is normal.

invisiblecrown · 07/02/2015 12:58

Very normal. Just leave him to it, and make sure he understands the difference between what is ok in public and what is ok in private.

jessied · 07/02/2015 19:27

thanks for the answers, I am still quite worried about it if I am honest, with no experience to compare it to or a man to ask about it.

OP posts:
wheresthelight · 08/02/2015 21:17

I agree with the other ladies. dss has been doing it since about that age and I have had to have several conversations about when it is ok and when it isn't.

that said if he is worried about it then maybe have a chat to the nurse at your doctors surgery as they are usually full of useful leaflets and advice, or if you cam bare the embarrassment your local library will have books for kids so they cam learn a bit more themselves

Paloma12 · 08/02/2015 21:33

You don't need to compare it to anyone.

BigRedBall · 08/02/2015 21:39

My children are very young, but even I know what you describe is normal Hmm and you needn't do anything about it apart from get some books to read and tell him it's normal and to relax when it happens.


SaucyMare · 08/02/2015 21:42

My son is 8 i always knock on his closed bedroom door, just in case.
Recommend you do the same.

jessied · 09/02/2015 00:22

I think I will need to knock, I had just hoped I would have more time with him as my little boy before all this stuff started to happen, will he get moody and slam doors next :(

It just all seems too soon :(

OP posts:
Please create an account

To comment on this thread you need to create a Mumsnet account.