pre teen?

my ds9 is completely Jekyll and Hyde. Our minute cuddly and cute, the next he is completely stubborn and uncooperative.
Stubborn to the extent that he will gold his arms and not move or talk. He can keep it up for hours. well alot of minutes anyway.
His party piece is now running out of the house. The other week he took the keys on his way and locked me in. Tonight he took off into the dark and took off up the village. I sent DS15 after him and after about ten minutes he came back.

He tells me quite calmly that he will keep doing it and he won't come back. I try and stay calm myself when he kicks off but he accuses me of not caring. I am really frustrated and don't know which way to turn.I am worried that one day he will take off and we won't be able to find him. Dark rural roads etc.
If I tell him off he just ramps up the bad behaviour. .if I punish him (take away tablet, games etc) he just plays up even worse. All this can blow up from the smallest thing. The result is that I now have to think twice before any reprimand because it can escalate so quickly.
Does any of this sound normal? I think I am losing the plot.