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Preteens

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Friendship Problem caused by Mums!

4 replies

MuM222015 · 03/02/2015 09:05

Sorry if this all sounds a bit petty, but I could do with some advice! My DD, age 9 has broken up with her best friend at school, and its because of a falling out that I've had with her friend's mum. We were great friends, in a general chat we were having I said something out of turn about her ex, it was well intentioned and out of concern for the kids, but I realised after that she had taken it really badly. I apologised by text when I realised she was upset, I would have done it in person but she has ignored and avoided me since. This was about 3 weeks ago, and she has cut me and my kids out of her life completely. As well as loosing a friend, the problem is our kids were all great friends. I used to pick them all up from school every day and drop them back home for her, even take the 4 of them to clubs together once a week while she was working... I know she has had a tough time recently, so despite being stonewalled, I've kept things as friendly as I can. Now though, without saying anything to me, she has arranged for someone else to drive her kids home from school. I offered to keep taking the girls off to gymnastics together each week, as otherwise her DD would miss out, which she accepted (by text). I do the pick up/ drop off without seeing her as she's at work. But being friendly, and being met with a blank stare/ avoiding me completely is just depressing me, and whats worse is, her kids used to run up and say hi when they saw us - now the 4 year olds still do (oblivious LOL), but the 9 year olds have realised somethings up, stopped asking for play dates and have "broken up", upsetting them both. We still see each other every morning at the school gates. I've stopped feeling sorry about her hurt feelings, and now I'm really mad that she has spread the bad feeling to the girls. I know we are being a terrible example to them, and I feel really guilty that this has caused trouble between them, but I don't know what to do about it, or what to say to my DD Sad. I've said so far that I'm sure we'll sort it out, but now I'm not so sure...

OP posts:
LastingLight · 03/02/2015 16:53

What a pity that your friend is being so immature about this. I suggest you send her a text and ask if you can meet for coffee to talk. If she declines, wave goodbye to the friendship unfortunately. You will have to explain to DD that just like kids' friendships come and go the same sometimes happen to adults. We don't always understand why someone doesn't want to be our friend any more and it hurts but there is nothing you can do about it. Your poor DD and her poor friend, it's really not fair.

jemmyjam · 03/02/2015 21:50

I suggest you try to explain to your friend that it is not fair that the children cannot be friends just because you two have fallen out. Hopefully in time you will sort it out.

jemmyjam · 03/02/2015 21:51

I suggest you try to explain to your friend that it is not fair that the children cannot be friends just because you two have fallen out. Hopefully in time you will sort it out.

jemmyjam · 03/02/2015 21:53

I suggest you try to explain to your friend that it is not fair that the children cannot be friends just because you two have fallen out. Hopefully in time you will sort it out.

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