11 yo not sleeping

[Allfurcoatandnoknickers]

Seems to be a common problem on this topic, but wondering why suddenly my 11 yo dd can't get to sleep most nights? She gets into a state about not being able to sleep, and is stressing about everything from losing a piece of clothing at school, friendships, tests, boys on and on.
She's always been a good sleeper and it's come out of the blue, I wondered if it's because she's moved up to secondary school (which she loves) or the dreaded hormones??

My dd went through a similar phase. Chamomile tea and melatonin helped somewhat. It went away as suddenly as it had started.

Is she off all screens 1 to 2 hours before bedtime?

Yes, and no tv, phone, screens etc in bedroom. She usually reads for a while before she goes to bed too. I'm interested in the melatonin, is that prescribed?

I'm not in the UK but from threads I've read on here you can get it from your GP, yes.

We have had the same problem here since Christmas with our 9 year old DS. He went from being a solid sleeper (since 3 months old!) to having chronic insomnia. It's been horrendous with him being awake some nights until 3am, we have all been at breaking point.

I think (touch wood) we are finally turning a corner though. On others recommendations I bought What to do when you dread your bed from Amazon. Its by no means an instant cure and requires 'work' for around 15 - 30 mins a day but after a week or so we are seeing some results.

Last night for the first time since Christmas he not only went to sleep on his own and with no tears at 9pm but also only woke once in the night and needed minimal reassurance. Long may it last!

Will try that book porridgeandwasp! Any ideas welcome. We are at breaking point, and it is affecting us all. DD11 yo is suddenly anxious about a) sleeping alone, b) going off to sleep at all, c) waking up.

Lots of potential factors of things which have changed over the past year, including her going into her own room from sharing bunks with her younger sister (bunks no longer here and we can't get two beds into any room in the house). Hormones, definitely making an appearance, and a host of issues which are making her anxious around school, peers, low level bullying, her own self confidence and new babies in the wider family (the feeling they might be replacing her in her nan's affections, although not the case and we all go out of our way to make her feel loved, special and amazing, because she is!)....

Trying to tackle the anxiety issues separately, but can't remember the last unbroken night I had - one of us ends up sleeping in her bed or on the floor, and she even had the collywobbles when she had a friend for a sleepover recently, and the friend fell asleep first - so at 1.30am I am stroking her feet until she falls asleep and backing as quietly as I can out of her room, cursing squeaky floorboards....! When she wakes up in the middle of the (every) night with a nightmare, she's in no mood to try any of our suggestions to get back off.

I guess I am just wanting someone to tell me it's normal and it will stop eventually, or this is what you can do to tackle it. She's a clever kid, so will seize the opportunity to talk about things and keep you there with her, so we struggle with exit strategies from her room! Chuck in those pre-teen hormones and those little hurtful outbursts coming flying out like fireworks that you have to try to dodge when you're barely awake and not thinking straight... Man!

We both work hard too, so feel grudging because we never seem to get any time to ourselves of an evening to wind down or spend adult time together.

Love her to bits, but by god it's hard work at the moment! Sorry for extra long post. Had to get it out - and the internet keeps throwing the same old sites out for tips on getting off to sleep or waking with nightmares, but aimed at much younger kids.

I used to teach y5 and it was a really common problem.

Some ideas they found helpful:
Lavender oil or plant in bedroom
A clear routine
A decluttering of the mind time before bed- some of them had a journal, others had achat with a parent before bed.
Mindless activities before bed, sometimes reading gets the brain going especially if they're reading anything with big questions. Some found colouring or doodling useful.
Making sure they were organised for the next day- visual reminders, a packed bag etc.

Hope this helps. Seems a really big, common issue.

Thanks all for the reassurances and the advice.

We do try the winding down, colouring in, have tried sleep music and relaxation on youtube or cds, Bachs rescue remedy sleep melts and aromatherapy temple balm, room spray, massage...!

Will try the physical unpacking and repacking of bags, and the placebo too!

Have tackled the bullying directly with school this week, so will see what comes of that too.

Huge thanks for comments - much appreciated! x