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Preteens

Parenting a preteen can be a minefield. Find support here.

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Original poster

Leaving your 11 year old on their own at home

15 replies

bella1968 · 16/12/2014 15:31

I'd appreciate hearing what other Mom's have to say on this topic.

I work full time and currently have to leave the house at 7.30. DD should leave at 7.10 and ds leaves at 8am. DS has had countless lates to school so I'm wondering whether I should stay back and make sure he leaves the house on time but this will mean that they are left alone in the house for 1/2 an hour in the evening.

We all get home around 5.30 currently but I can't rely upon my ds getting to school on time and feel that I should now be at home for a few months to make sure that he learns this responsibility.

Is it ok to leave them both alone at night from 5.30-6pm?

Thanks for your thoughts.

OP posts:

stripeysettee · 16/12/2014 15:36

Sounds fine to me - no different to leaving them for half an hour in the morning, I'd have thought?

stripeysettee · 16/12/2014 15:36

How old is dd?

TheFriar · 16/12/2014 15:41

Totally fine with me too.
You are leaving alone at home in the am anyway! Why would it be different to leave between 7.30 and 8.00am and 5.39 and 6.00pm?[confused]

Seeline · 16/12/2014 15:44

I often leave my 10 and 12 year old at home for periods far longer than 1/2hr. the other option would be to make your DS leave the house when you do - I'm sure he can find something to occupy himself with in the school library

Original poster

bella1968 · 16/12/2014 15:48

it wouldn't be any different, I'm just trying to think of different ways of doing it as stbxh complains that they are being left at home alone to fend for themselves.

I had thought about making sure he leaves the house at the same time as me, and yes he has things he can do at school.

It's just difficult to know what to do sometimes, especially when his father complains at everything I do. I just want to do the right thing for them and don't want anyone to think that I'm neglecting them.

OP posts:

Original poster

bella1968 · 16/12/2014 15:49

they are twins so daughter and son both 11, however at different schools, hence the different times to leave in the morning.

OP posts:

OldBeanbagz · 16/12/2014 16:03

I would be happier with my DD being home alone for half an hour in the afternoon rather than the morning as she's hopeless at getting up.

Plus i'd get to make sure the house was locked up properly.

Perhaps if your stbxh is that worried, you could suggest he comes and babysits them whilst you go out to work

Original poster

bella1968 · 16/12/2014 16:08

lol, oldbeanbagz he already is moaning about being that! he's lost his job and I have to work the new years week so he's going to be with them, he likened it to cheap childcare in front of the judge!! didn't go down too well he he.

In all seriousness though I don't want him doing that otherwise he'll try to claim he's the primary carer and try to weedle his way back into the house! he's no good for them at the moment, too much anger and no control over it, just tries to exert control over me instead!

I think that I'll endeavour to get him to leave at 7.45 with me, I can get a later train but it will mean that I can possibly get home for 5.45, that way they won't be on their own too long.

thanks for the thoughts everyone.

OP posts:

bigTillyMint · 16/12/2014 16:09

My DC were coming home for half an hour or so before me in Y6 3 days a week with no problems. He wasn't allowed to have friends back as there were no adults around and couldn't use the cooker/toaster/kettle/microwave. Once in Y7, he was allowed to use the toaster/microwave.

I agree, better to get him up and out and make sure all is locked up properly - they are fine getting back in and if you leave them a snack, they will be able to just sit and watch TV!

SoonToBeSix · 16/12/2014 16:12

Yes my eldest dd was mature for her age , I left her aged 10 after school for 45 mins.

CPtart · 16/12/2014 16:22

DS1 aged 11 was by himself at home twice a week for one and two hours respectively, and we live fairly isolated.

Dancergirl · 16/12/2014 18:20

Yes of course, surprised you asked tbh.

My dds all stayed by themselves for short periods from age 10 or so.

pandora987 · 16/12/2014 20:04

I think at 11 we let them walk to school alone, go out with their friends etc. Alone in the house is much safer than these things!! I leave DD 11 for an hour or so in the day/early evening while I shop, but I would not leave her alone for a whole evening. An hour or so after school would be fine.. I say no answering door, if anything happens go next door, she knows my mobile number.

SasherinSuite · 18/01/2015 15:42

Absolutely fine to leave them at home on their own at that age. Just make sure they know how to answer the phone so you can check on them!

Quitethewoodsman · 18/01/2015 15:52

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

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