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Preteens

Parenting a preteen can be a minefield. Find support here.

Bedtime for 12 year old

22 replies

Medge68 · 13/11/2014 08:44

Apologies if this has been done to death! But what time does your 12 year old go to bed? My DS has decided that 10 - 10.30 is appropriate whereas I feel 9.30 is pushing it! Would be interested to hear what others do.

OP posts:
PureMorning · 13/11/2014 08:51

12 yr old ds goes at 9 on a school night, later on weekend holidays.

If he whinges I threaten with a 8pm bedtime and he gives in very quickly

LaQueenIsKickingThroughLeaves · 13/11/2014 12:40

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

OldBeanbagz · 13/11/2014 12:49

9.30pm for my 12 (almost 13) year old as she really needs her sleep. She has to get up at 6.45am on schooldays (on the bus at 7.30am).

The other night she was overtired and we had a full on tamtrum & tears. I though it was only babies that did that. I had to lie down in bed next to her until she calmed down and fell asleep.

Last night we were back on the bedtime meditations cd to get her off to sleep earlier.

Bramshott · 13/11/2014 12:52

9pm weekdays (and most weekend nights tbh) for DD1 who will be 12 after Christmas. Gives DH and I an hour to watch something non-preteen friendly before we head off to bed!

Pagwatch · 13/11/2014 12:54

Half the week it's 9.00, the rest it's 10.00 but only because she swims from 7-9.00 three nights a week.

She stays until about 10.00 on sat - sometimes a bit later - but she has to get up at 6.00am to swim on Sunday so it's easy to get her to go.

I don't have fights about it. She is so active she is tired at bedtime. Easy for me.

Dancergirl · 13/11/2014 14:05

I have a 13 year old and a nearly 12 year old.

13 year old is in her room around 10 ish which I think is a bit late but she can't fall asleep any earlier and seems to have oodles of energy.

12 year old is normally in bed just after 9 and reads for a bit. I go in at 9.15 ish, she likes a cuddle with me and lights out at 9.30pm. Don't think she drops off that easily though either.

minkymuskyslyoldstoaty · 13/11/2014 14:10

dd is 12 1/2 and has never been a sleeper, ever.

i try to get her into bed for 9-9.15, but she takes hours to get to sleep. I am a firm believer that lying down, is rest at least.

at the weekend it can be 10.30, and she generally admits she is tired by then.

Medge68 · 13/11/2014 17:59

Hmm, 9.00pm is what I think but I have a feeling it's going to be about 20 past realistically! He's started army cadets and on those nights doesn't get home until 10 so it seems to have given him ideasHmm

OP posts:
pandora987 · 13/11/2014 20:45

My DD is a complete night owl and would stay up til gone midnight if I let her. It's a result if she's asleep by 10:30pm, but she doesn't get up til 7:45 on school days, and I let her lie in weekends. Left to herself she'd get up at 11:30am and go to bed at 1am! And she's only 11. Once she's a proper teenager I expect she'll become completely nocturnal...

AuditAngel · 13/11/2014 20:50

DS is only 10 but has never been a good sleeper. I try to have 8.30 as a weekday bedtime, but realistically it is 9.30 and later at weekends. He has recently been performing in a professional theatrical production, getting home about 11.30 3 nights a week, really hard to get him back to a sensible time. DD1. 7.5 is about yo start panto rehearsals, that will be late nights Wed/Fri/Sun

Takver · 13/11/2014 21:13

12 1/2 y/o here - in theory lights out is 9.15, in practice usually actually 9.30, getting up at about 7.15 on a school day. Even with that she gets cumulatively tireder over each half term.

Chasingsquirrels · 13/11/2014 22:26

Around 9.45 - 10pm. Wakes up around 7.30am. Sometimes he seems tired so I make him go earlier.

Smugfearnleyshittingstool · 13/11/2014 22:32

I must be a mean mum as my dd1 (131/2) is in bed lights off @8:30. That's an hour later than her you get siblings. But she also gets herself up/ showered/ pack lunch as I'm shocking at mornings. If she stayed up any later she would be late for school every day and she knows this. I find doing less for them makes them take more responsibility Wink

Pagwatch · 14/11/2014 09:36

I'm not sure being in bed by 8.30?is responsible for that though Smigfearnley.
Dd is 12, she gets herself up at 6.30 everyday , 5.00 on a wed - packs her swim bag, school bag and gets her snacks. She gets ready completely independently and has done for the last year plus.

I love her being so independent but it's nothing to do with going to bed early . Your DD must just need that much sleep . Some do Smile
I do

pandora987 · 14/11/2014 14:00

Gosh if I didn't go in an yell at DD to get up at least 4 times she'd still be in bed at midday.....

GlaceCherries · 14/11/2014 14:06

We're very mean! Our 12 yr olds have an 8pm school night bedtime, 8.30pm at the weekends. Get up at 6.45am.

We're a lot more relaxed during holidays, but she gets tired and grumpy and has always needed a lot of sleep. I like my quiet child-free evenings Grin

morethanpotatoprints · 14/11/2014 14:12

Dd is not good at sleeping so she goes to bed when she wants to, it varies tremendously from 8.30 - 12.00.
I don't mind though because she has a lifestyle that can warrant her still performing past 11pm, so if body clock gets used to being earlier the later nights then make her ill the next day iyswim.

Pagwatch · 14/11/2014 14:21

Pandora - my son is like that.
Dd is weird Grin

Dancergirl · 14/11/2014 14:25

That won't last glace

Actually teen dc are nice company in the evenings.

morethanpotatoprints · 14/11/2014 17:32

Pandora

My dd had to travel back through the night with her choir a few days ago.
They arrived home at 3.30am
The drivers told us that they had all slept, except one.
Yes, that one was mine Grin
She is 10 and also an owl like me and her dsd.
Our ds now grown ups are real larks, so it was fun when they were younger.

fieldfare · 14/11/2014 17:39

Dd's just turned 12, in yr7 and is in bed for 8:30 on week nights and weekends, well it depends what we're doing really. 9:30 is more likely.
She gets absolutely shattered and is a misery without enough sleep!

Chandon · 28/11/2014 07:46

9

It has been 9 since he was 10.

He sometimes goes to bed at 8:30

Something about secondary school that is very tiring!

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