My 12yr old son has lived with me happily for 3 years.
His mum has addiction problems,the courts recognised this,and he sees his mum once a week for 4 hours.
Son's behaviour is getting worse and worse at school,he is purposely missing detentions and sporadically playing the class clown .
He sometimes refuses to do his homework,which leads to more detentions ,and so the slow , gradual decline does on.
He is constantly verbally abusive to me and , has even started to verbally abuse the coaches and referees at his weekend football games.
When I impose sanctions (loss of phone,x box,grounded), he threatens to run away and live with his mum.
He forgets what life was like with his mum ( no electricity,home alone),but the
problem is,that's a real possibility,and would be disastrous for him due to his mother's poor parenting.
( his mum has a daughter,who is 17 now,but who was been allowed to skip 90 per cent of school from year 8)
There is a court ,residence order in place,which says he is to live with me,but as children get older,court orders get less enforceable)
My dilemma is that I need to sanction poor behaviour,but I have to encourage him to live with me,in order for him to have any life chances.
Should say that it's not all bad news,he's very bright (level 6 maths),has friends,plays sport and doesn't hang around street corners).
Any advice on keeping this boy on track,and how do I stand up to him,without driving him back to his mother,and a dysfunctional existence??