Dd stealing

[2preteendramaqueens]

My 11 yr dd has some behaviour issues and is a bit like a magpie anything shiny and she will pick it up
When I put her blazer on her the other morning it rattled and I asked what it was and she pulled out a handful of money when asked where she got it she said she found on her way to and from school over the past week but it was only silvers and it was exactly £2 which is how much school dinner is , so I took the money off her and told her I would talk to her about it after school . After school dp spoke to her and she comes clean that she took it out of our money pot for school dinner , we don't know how to punish her as this is very serious to us and we don't want it to get worse , the thing is if she would if asked for it we would of given it to her as she had just had a good sch report and another thing is we had some money go missing a couple of weeks ago about £20 which we couldn't think where it had gone but now we think she might if took it

[duckwalk]

Hi there,
I've got experience on both sides of this. As a young teen...I'm very ashamed to say....I stole £20 from my mum. I was being bullied at school for having "rubbish clothes" and so one day took it from on top of the kitchen worktop. I went into Town and bought myself a pair of coloured jeans. I was obviously not a criminal mastermind as my mum would've noticed these new jeans, but noticed the missing money first. Anyway, she practically frog marched me back to the shops and explained I'd bought them with stolen cash.....she got a refund and I was mortified beyond belief. Then on the way home she took me into the local police station and explained what I'd done. It literally gave me the fright of my life, but was so so effective as I learned a very valuable lesson which I'm ashamed of to this day.
When my DD was about 5, we went across the road to our local shop for some messages and when we got home I noticed her chewing on something. It turned out to be loose pick n mix sweets she'd stolen and hidden in her pocket. Like my mum, I marched her back across the road and got her to confess and apologise for what she'd done. She's10 now, and while she doesn't remember this incident, I've recounted the story on a few occasions and to the best of my knowledge she's never done it again.
I don't know if any of that is helpful, but I hope you get everything sorted out.....it's an awful feeling when your DC is being deceitful xxx

[Minerves]

I think it depends on why she took it, doesn't she need money for dinner or is it that she is taking pack lunch and not eating it but stealing money for dinner instead? would she rather have school dinner and is that an option for you?

i don't think I'd get overly bothered about something as little as 2 pounds. the £20 is a different issue, but £2 in change doesn't really register as stealing to me. we used to have a bowl where people emptied their pockets into in the hall and t was generally understood that change was there for whoever needed it for a bus fare or a pint of milk and whatnot.