I think I mentioned a bit about this briefly on another thread, but it's getting worse and I am at a loss with what to do.
Ds hates school, always has. Nursery was fine, reception was fine but then after that he hated it. All through primary he really struggled socially and academically, although school really played it down (they were crap). He was on an iep at my insistence but they rarely stuck to it.
He saw camhs at around age 9 and they said he had low self esteem and anger issues, but not much else. They said he was def not on the autistic spectrum, but had oppositional defiance disorder 
Because of all of this I chose not to send him to the local secondary school. Both of his sisters go there, and while it gets good results, I think it applies too much pressure, and ds wouldn't cope with that.
I chose a school about a mile away, that has equally good results, but more of a family feel. I spoke to people who's kids were similar to ds and they had sent their kids there and they loved it.
So, it's now Oct and he hates it. He hasn't really made any friends and is getting picked on. Now when I say picked on, I pretty much mean playground banter, but ds doesn't understand playground banter and takes every comment to heart.
If someone is nice to him once, he thinks they are best buddies and if the person isn't so nice the next day he gets very upset and angry.
He's just been away on a residential trip for the weekend, and the school put some pics on Twitter, Ds was only in two, and on both he is sat on the outside of a group, looking miserable. He said he enjoyed the activities but hated the rest.
This morning he left for school in tears, and then once there he rang me sobbing that he can't do it anymore, he has no friends, hates the school and hates the work. I managed to get him to go in and speak to student support, who said they would speak to his form tutor but thats it.
I've tried over and over to explain banter to him, and suggest that he ignores it as they are only doing it because he gives them such a reaction, but he really doesn't understand.
Academically wise from what I can gather he has been placed in bottom sets. I'm fine with that, as i'd rather him not be placed too high and struggle even more, and tbh he is at bottom level. Homework is an issue, as it always has been and if I dont supervise very closely he produces stuff that you'd think a 6yr old had done.
I feel really guilty and i'm questioning my choice of school, but realistically I think he'd be the same at any school.
What do i do ??
Apologies for the long post.