DD 12 in denial over periods

[JufusMum]

Ok, looking for a bit of advice.

My DD (12 and 3 months) is reluctant to discuss periods.

She knows what it is all about, what happens etc. I have bought her some supplies and as my friends daughter started when at school I have now tried three times to put the little bag of supplies in her school bag, as a just in case.

She will not have any of it, and gets really angry and upset when I mention it. She says she doesn’t need them and everyone will pick on her if she has supplies in her bag. I asked her about her friends who have started their periods and what do they do, and she just told me to shut up and almost started crying.

She seems almost in denial that it will ever happen to her, and to be fair, she shows absolutely no signs of puberty at all, no boobs, no spots, no greasy hair, she is very slim (age 7-8 waist) and a keen competitive disco freestyle dancer (I’m wondering if this could be assisting in the denial process, I mean who wants to wear a leotard on their period?). She is a very “young” year eight, no interest in make up, clothes, boys etc. Still quite innocent loves animals and a bit of a tomboy.

I just don’t want her to be embarrassed if she starts at school but she just won’t have the supplies in her bag. I know it is not likely to be yet as she seems to be a late developer but I would hate for her to have to deal with this at school with no supplies ?

Any ideas please?

Just leave it. IMO it's one of those 'pick your battles' situations and not something worth arguing about. She may be in denial, or she may just be embarassed to talk about all that with you. Girls at school must talk about periods with each other. Maybe she prefers to talk to her peers than to you. It's typical teen behaviour.

My dd is a dancer. She dances (and wears a leotard) when she has her period. They all do, it's not a big deal.

From what you describe she may still be several years from starting so maybe leave it alone for the next wee while.

I am a teacher of pastoral care and I always have a stash in my office just in case if emergencies so she is unlikely to be caught short

She has the supplies. Make sure there is something discreet to put them in - like a small, unremarkable pencil case, and put that with them. If you can find a book that tells you everything you want to know in embarrassing detail about bodies and put that with it. Then leave it, say nothing and pick your battles, as above.

We had no trouble with sanitary towels and leotards - used thick tights and sensible knickers. Also used tampons and liners (also left availble with the other supplies). My dds sorted themselves out.

The girls in my daughter's school have apparently been told where to go if they need supplies. She takes something just in case anyway, but I've asked her to think about who she would approach if she had a problem with periods or anything else in school - she likes her Head of Year who I know is readily at lunchtimes so this is reassuring. My daughter has a plastic covered toiletry bag which looks a bit like a pencil case.

I think all you can do if give her something for school, tell her you're not going to say any more for now, but that you are there if she ever has any questions or needs you.

Thanks for the replies, I just like you say I just need to leave the supplies where she can take them if she wants them, she said last night her friends just go to the pastoral care lady so I guess I should just leave it at that :)