Dilemma re DS (12) and Xbox time

[Flyonthewindscreen]

Until fairly recently me and DH didn't feel the need to set limits on DS's screen time as it didn't seem to be an issue, especially in summer when he would choose to play out rather than be on a screen. Over the last few months we have felt he has become more and more screen obsessed and have set the family timer on his xbox (he is also without his ipad at the moment due to another incident, he is a trial at the moment...).

The trouble is all that has happened is that DS does not bring his friends back to the house anymore and goes to his two best friend's houses instead so he can use their unlimited gaming time and then keep his for himself in the morning or later on. So he doesn't spend any less time on screens and his friend's parents are going to get annoyed soon (I think one set already are a bit peeved) that they are having the lads over all the time and we are not taking a turn! WWYD?

Take your turn.

At least you know where he is.

Talk to him about the on line security thing and leave him to it, as long as when you want to go swimming or in town he does not moan about switching it off.

My son generally is on it a lot [pc...ipad or x box] but if I decide we are taking the dog to the beach I give him 15 minutes warning.

Nobody told me how long I could sit and read a book when I was 12, and I sat for hours.

I think you're right for limiting screen time as it's easy to become obsessed! If other parents want to let them all sit round at their house and play computer games then that's up to them and it's also up to them to say no if they're getting peeved!

Am happy to take my turn at having the boys round. DS arranges to go his friend's houses instead so he can save his limited gaming time for when at home without his pals, that's the problem.

Yes, nothing stopping them saying clear off to Kamer's DS's house instead of being peeved i suppose!

Why doesn't he "lose" the gaming time for that day if he deliberately goes to his mate's houses to play xbox/games?

If you know that is what he is doing then surely you can enforce that and he can see that point. You are limiting his screen time whether he is at home or elsewhere.

He probably does get more game time at his mate's house but he can't accumulate his game time at home.

We had similar problem with our 11yro boy. He now has to 'earn' tokens to use for time on xbox/ds etc. He has to read his book for 15 mins, brush the dog, help wash up, tidy his room, do homework etc. Each thing will earn him 30 mins play time, he can have a max of two tokens at a time to use. As I think an hour is more than enough. Weekends and holidays he may get a little more time but only if we've been out and done something active like a dog walk or bike ride. It's really hard isn't it as when I was his age I was out playing all the time and we didn't have electronic toys and only a few TV channels!