Constant answering back

[jakejanebaz]

My 10 DS is always answering back and it is driving me nuts.
Right now he has lost his TV, tablet etc until Friday. I removed his things for one day due to appalling attitude on Sunday. When I punished him, he started to get stroppy so I told him if he did not be quiet and stop answering back, he would lose his things for another day and his response was to answer back so he lost them for another night yet still he answered back so what was intended to be a "one night" removal of his things has now turned into 4 nights before he finally stopped. Nothing is getting through to him. I know he will behave for about 3 days after the return of his things but then it happens all over again. Any suggestions please

DD9 is the same, think it comes with the territory really. I was the same at that age and my gran would 'bet my jaw'. It appears karma is biting me in the are for that one.

I started up with that when I was 13. It's a wonder my parents didn't ship me off to a convent school until I was 30!

Neither of my sons was too terrible, but there was a period of back-talking at about that age. You just have to be firm and not give in when you take away privileges. He's testing your limits and you must let him know that those limits are firmly in place. He'll stop in time, it's just not going to be much fun for you until he does!

No advice but I feel your pain. I have two boys 12 & 10 and all I get from them is lip, effin this, effin that. Its so hard and draining, I dread waking up some mornings for fear of the abuse I'll get.

hi Jakejanebaz I've just posted somewhere else for help with my two who are 11, now looking at your post I realise I should have come here.

I don't have any answers but I'm looking for them too! . I have a boy and a girl twins, she is mega sensitive and doesn't want to be around him, he is irritating, annoying and constantly makes digging, derogatory, nasty comments at her and at me. Of course it doesn't help that his father is like that and they've heard it all too much recently and we are now divorcing after him shouting and swearing and name calling to me and kids. DS now called dd a bitch last night and the other day.

I'm sorry I'm no help but you have my sympathy which I know doesn't help. I've read positive parenting ideas and he's also being assessed for ASD but really I know some of it is the testing of the boundaries, which dd told me he knows are there and goes over the line which he's also aware of but I just don't know why when he wants a peaceful and happy life?

He doesn't seem to admit how much his behaviour is causing unrest, just like his father although he doesn't like it when I say this as he doesn't want to be like him!

I think they are like toddlers again and you have to ignore the bad behavior/answering back, don't rise to it as much as you would like them to shut up and stop driving you crazy. If you got at it with them tit for tat, you won't win, they are younger with more stamina and know everything! Also go OTT when all is good and well, my DS1 12 was utterly vile on Monday, so lost all his perks, but yesturday had done well in a test at school and emptied the dishwasher without being asked so gots lots of my attention!

So sorry i have no advice but i just want to tell you that you have my sympathy. I have a soon to be 10 yr old DS too and he is currently everything you described, cheeky, back chatting, disrespectful and the list goes on. No matter what, no punishment seems to work but i am hoping with perseverance that his behaviour will improve. If he is like this now, i dread the teen years!

thanks for all your replies.

DS got his things back on Friday and promptly lost them again on Saturday, seems he has not learned his lesson.
Now when his things are returned I get "whats the point cos you will just take them away again". I tell him stop answering back and do as you are told when you are told and you wont lose anything. His reply? "whatever"....I thought I was going to lose it so had to walk away from him