Is your 10yr old dd a bit 'gobby'? You know, sullen and back-chatty?

[notnowbernard]

Because mine is becoming so and I need ideas in how to manage it. It riles me and I get annoyed with her which I know is NOT the best way of dealing with it.

It's worse in the mornings, mornings are crap at the moment with nobody seeming to listen or get ready properly/on time (3 DC)

I get The Look a lot as well, eyeball rolling, arched eyebrows etc

Please share your tips!

Has my DS3 moved in with you bernard? Only he's 12 now.

He's the third in a line of five so I do have some tips for keeping sane...

• Pick your battles. Hard when they roll their eyes and you want to smack their eyeballs out of their heads. However, if it's bad I simply say, "You are being rude and disrespectful. I think we both need some time to calm down. Come and see when when you are willing to discuss this calmly". The ignore, ignore, IGNORE.

• Follow through on threats the first time. If you've said you're taking the phone if the cheek continues, take the phone. They cannot argue or negotiate.

• Praise the good. It's a tough time, so make sure you're still building them up and using rewards rather than punishment where possible.

• Make time for the two of you. Movies, shopping, cup of tea after school.

• Have serious discussions about attitude in a calm moment! Screaming Discussions in the heat of the moment are inadvisable.

Hope that helps OP. It's all the basics really - firm, consistent, loving. It's a bloody frustrating time I know!

Great tips, thankyou !

Yes I really need to discuss when calm and happy... rather than my usual ranting

The mornings are such s flashpoint, it's when I find it hardest to handle.

Hats off to you with 5 as well

Can you use some natural consequences for mornings? If they make themselves late, there will be a bollocking/detention from school.

What about setting out uniform and packing bags the night before? Early to bed the next night if they can't get themselves up and out the door in good time - obviously they must need more sleep!

5 I know! What was I thinking...

Haha, you could be describing my 12 yo at this very second. We have just confiscated the Xbox lead for bad behaviour!!

My dd has been confiscated of the WIIU because of bad words and ruudness!!!

DS1 (11.5) is so like this. "Year 6 itis" I call it. Too big for his boots at the moment. I'm hoping a dose of secondary school in September will bring him back down to earth!

My 9yr old DD is queen of the eye rolling but 11yr old DS does a fine line in "walking away when I'm talking"! Great tips above, thank you and yes, I find the mornings very trying too, heaven help him in Sept when he has to leave the house 40 mins earlier!!