Is your 10yr old dd a bit 'gobby'? You know, sullen and back-chatty?
notnowbernard · 03/07/2014 09:35
Because mine is becoming so and I need ideas in how to manage it. It riles me and I get annoyed with her which I know is NOT the best way of dealing with it.
It's worse in the mornings, mornings are crap at the moment with nobody seeming to listen or get ready properly/on time (3 DC)
I get The Look a lot as well, eyeball rolling, arched eyebrows etc
Please share your tips!
scouseontheinside · 03/07/2014 15:08
Has my DS3 moved in with you bernard? Only he's 12 now.
He's the third in a line of five so I do have some tips for keeping sane...
- Pick your battles. Hard when they roll their eyes and you want to smack their eyeballs out of their heads. However, if it's bad I simply say, "You are being rude and disrespectful. I think we both need some time to calm down. Come and see when when you are willing to discuss this calmly". The ignore, ignore, IGNORE.
- Follow through on threats the first time. If you've said you're taking the phone if the cheek continues, take the phone. They cannot argue or negotiate.
- Praise the good. It's a tough time, so make sure you're still building them up and using rewards rather than punishment where possible.
- Make time for the two of you. Movies, shopping, cup of tea after school.
- Have serious discussions about attitude in a calm moment! Screaming Discussions in the heat of the moment are inadvisable.
Hope that helps OP. It's all the basics really - firm, consistent, loving. It's a bloody frustrating time I know!
notnowbernard · 03/07/2014 21:00
Great tips, thankyou !
Yes I really need to discuss when calm and happy... rather than my usual ranting
The mornings are such s flashpoint, it's when I find it hardest to handle.
Hats off to you with 5 as well
scouseontheinside · 04/07/2014 15:29
Can you use some natural consequences for mornings? If they make themselves late, there will be a bollocking/detention from school.
What about setting out uniform and packing bags the night before? Early to bed the next night if they can't get themselves up and out the door in good time - obviously they must need more sleep!
5 I know! What was I thinking...
574ejones · 04/07/2014 18:32
Haha, you could be describing my 12 yo at this very second. We have just confiscated the Xbox lead for bad behaviour!!
deadwithoutsugar · 09/07/2014 19:14
My dd has been confiscated of the WIIU because of bad words and ruudness!!!
CPtart · 09/07/2014 19:21
DS1 (11.5) is so like this. "Year 6 itis" I call it. Too big for his boots at the moment. I'm hoping a dose of secondary school in September will bring him back down to earth!
Dotty342kids · 15/07/2014 14:45
My 9yr old DD is queen of the eye rolling but 11yr old DS does a fine line in "walking away when I'm talking"! Great tips above, thank you and yes, I find the mornings very trying too, heaven help him in Sept when he has to leave the house 40 mins earlier!!
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