Ds doesn't want to attend the class talk on sex ed.

[CeliaFate]

The year 6 class have the nurse coming in to talk to them about sex education and puberty.
Ds wants to opt out, he got tearful at the thought of going.
I asked why he didn't want to go and he couldn't articulate it, just said he didn't want to know about it.
What can I do? I strongly feel education is so important - knowledge is power etc. - and if he doesn't go, he'll be subject to taunting from others.
Is this usual for a boy to not want to know? WWYD?

sorry, never would think to ask my DS to write down their reasons.
Probably because my DS's would scream how writing anything ever is torture.

My dd1 is Yr 5 and we recently had 'the talk', I had to force the issue slightly as she's having some physical changes so we needed to raise it.

I bought her a book and she was a bit like your ds, refused to read it etc I just left it in her book shelf and told her it was there if she wanted to look at it. A few days later she did, of her own accord and started asking questions. She's still appalled by the whole sex thing (which is fine! ) and turns away if there's kissing on tv but at least I know she knows the facts.

I'd also second the advice to speak to his teacher just in case there's a playground rumour mill going into overdrive.

Year 6 is what 10 years old?

I find his reaction very odd. But then I also find it odd that this topic has never been covered before either by you or the school. and why the school nurse?

I really would gently try to talk to him/the school in case there is something else going on.

I suppose it is possible that if this is the first time he has heard any of this then he things it is dirty/shameful/a big deal/something he doesn't want to find about with his friends?

ds knows pretty much everything, we are a very open house and I have 3 dcs and they all talk/ask questions and the others all earwig on the answers.

BUT he is year 6 and sex is disgusting, kissing is gross, puberty is embarrassing, anything relating to girls (like periods) is AAAARRGHHH.

So I think that the ''hands over my ears I can't hear you'' attitude isn't that unusual. I know ds talks to me because we have always had those conversations. He recently asked me something, about what contraception actually was, very red faced and embarrassed, but he said, well, it isn't rude, it is just a question, as he went bright red. I don't think he would talk about it if he wasn't used to it.

There is loads of playground rubbish that they hear. It is important he has real facts to hand, even if reluctantly.

I bought 2 books, Dr Christian's growing up book, very factual boys and girls, and the Usborne What's happening to me? For boys (but includes a bit about girls) which includes lots of feelings too.

ours are also doing sex ed this term, Y6, first time they do it in school which surprised me. Done by class teacher as far as I know

I'm really surprised that schools aren't even starting to talk about this sort of stuff until Y6. I assumed that discussion started in Y1 (with body parts) and gradually built up until they got to puberty (Y5) and sex/relationships in Y6.

MrsCakes, when i was teaching they did:

Y1 - topic about ourselves which included where I came from, babies grow in mummies tummy etc etc

Y4 - topic about ourselves which is all about how the body works, muscles, skeleton, blood and then reproductive system, included what sea was and how babies were made, and a little bit on periods and puberty (because we were told 25% of girls start their periods before the end of year 5, which I find hard to believe)

Y6 - sex ed around What is happening to me? - puberty, body changes, etc
more in depth about relationships was done at secondary school

So I was surprised that dcs school don't do it till Y6

Ds is year 5 & knows nothing of what was said in his recent puberty talk as he deliberately didn't listen. If he could have got away with covering his ears in class & singing la la he would have!

I told him off about it but you can't make a child listen.

Us your ds Squeamish about other things too? Mine is.

He's got to go though even if he doesn't listen.

This is one of the reasons I think it is good to talk to children about it all pretty young. They haven't reached the stage of being embarrassed and just see it as another fact.

My DS knew babies were made when a seed and an egg got together in the ladies tummy. At 5 he wanted to know how it got there. So I told him and he said 'In there?' In a surprised voice,so I repeated it and then we moved into talking about something else.
A couple of years later he saw some tampons in the bathroom and thought they were sweets so we talked about periods. First of all he thought it was like a woman laying a chickens egg, but I explained.

At 9 now, he does find kissing etc 'mushy and disgusting' and has no interest in girls. But he knows the basic facts of how it all works and that is fine. At this age, it is more about the mechanics and most children can accept that with interest. It is the relationship stuff which makes them awkward.

I agree chocolate,ds knew everything from 5 or 6 and then school covered it all again in sex ed. The kids had to write down after the lessons what they liked and didn't like so the school could improve if need be. They were very thorough, even going through sanitary protection with the boys. I was really impressed.

I've always talked to my dc about sex, obviously in an age appropriate manner which has evolved as we've gone along. The problem I found is that 1) they forget, so it's not been just one sex ed chat, there have been a series of them and 2) once it's happening to them immanently it becomes a whole different ball game and rather alarming.

I agree, it does need to be a series of chats. The number of times ds has asked me something and has seemed amazed when I've explained we have already covered that

You need to talk to him first.
Just general chit chat it doesn't need to be a big deal. Maybe ask him questions or just tell him little facts. Make it fun. I'm sure you could speak to the teacher and ask them not to make him speak aloud in class during that lesson. They may just show a video anyway.

Ime some children at this age don't want to know about puberty because they don't want it to happen. Lots of children desperately want to grow up but some don't. They see being an adult as scary or responsible or don't like change.

Also they might be embarrassed or been teased about not knowing something. I remember by big sisters friends taking the mick out me for not knowing what a gigolo was (I was 11) and being mortified.

Fragglewump, I would go seriously complain about that teacher that is just fucking cruel.