Preteens
Privacy
LastingLight · 26/03/2014 13:36
How much privacy do you give your preteen? At this stage DD11 has privacy in the bathroom, i.e. you must knock and she will decide if she wants to let you in, but she still regularly invites you in for whatever reason and also walks around the house naked.
Room - she doesn't want us to go into her room without permission, whether she is there or not. I think this is a step too far, it is still a part of our home and at this age we need to know what she is getting up to.
Electronics - we reserve the right to look at what she is doing on her laptop at any time, as well as access email. Her cellphone went through the wash (and died) and she doesn't feel like saving up / working for a new one so that's not going to be a problem any time soon.
Sunnymeg · 26/03/2014 13:58
We have DS 12. Like you we knock when he is in the bathroom and wait to see if we can go in. We also knock on the door when he is in his bedroom, but he knows we will walk in once we have knocked. If he is any other room in the house then we just walk in, if the door is shut.
Lottie4 · 26/03/2014 14:04
My daughter is 12 and I'm only allowed in the bathroom for something essential (like she has forgotten something she wants to take in there) and I'm not allowed to look. If she's in her room and the door is slightly closed, we now always knock and ask if we can come in.
I'm not allowed to see my daughter, but if she has a sleepover with a friend it's okay for them both to see eachother naked!
We don't check her electronics as screens are only used in our living room, ie computer, laptop or ipod so most of the time you can see what she's on.
Flyonthewindscreen · 26/03/2014 17:53
I would always knock now if DS (12) is in bathroom but he doesn't mind me going in if he has enough bubbles in bath to cover privates 
or is wrapped in towel.
I knock before going into his bedroom but don't wait for him to say "come in". I certainly wouldn't countenance not being allowed in the room when he is out.
Electronics - I reserve right to randomly check all his screens and insist on knowing passwords. Not sure when this would be unreasonable, 16? if not before.
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