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Parenting a preteen can be a minefield. Find support here.


10 year old (nearly 11) has told me he's gay

9 replies

LadyPeter · 19/03/2014 00:58

it's not a surprise at all and has been coming for a while-really all the signs have been there ever since we had to vote for Gavin Henson 1000 times when he was on Strictly. and he;s said things like' I'm not the same as other boys' for a few years and 'I'm the perfect gay best friend'- in many ways I think it's awesome that he knows himself so young and felt happy to talk to me about it. I asked him how he felt about it and he said breezily 'I'm not bothered!'- he's also told his close mates at school who were all just fine about, not particularly bothered or even interested! I feel pretty chuffed and proud of him....but of course I can't help but feel anxious about it too and worried about the transition next year to secondary school and how he will negotiate those first snogs etc. when other people aren't going to be as cool and accepting and open as him and his family and close friends. So...any advice about how to support him? All the 'coming out' stuff I've been reading has been about older kids. So anyone who knows about kids as young as 10/11 declaring their sexuality would be great...

OP posts:
justmuddlingalong · 19/03/2014 01:04

Try Stonewall. Link here.

LadyPeter · 19/03/2014 01:07

yeh i just ordered their video called FREE (aimed at pre teens) to watch with him. Was thinking more experience based advice but thanks for that Smile

OP posts:
justmuddlingalong · 19/03/2014 01:12

Sorry no experience. Someone'll be along to help soon. You sound like you have a fantastic relationship.

saffronwblue · 19/03/2014 01:13

He sounds like a great kid and obviously at ease with himself and close to you. These qualities will all help him navigate the years to come. I have no specific advice just to say that so many of my gay friends had painful teenage years with secrecy and no support at home. Your lad is in a much better position.

Fanjango · 19/03/2014 01:13

I don't have first hand experience but thought that if just let you know that a friend of ds went openly gay at the start of year 7. Hardly anyone batted an eye. It's seen as so much more normal than it was a few years back. Hopefully he will be as accepted as this boy was. Good luck and well done for having such an honest open relationship with a preteen, not as easy as it sounds Grin

horsetowater · 19/03/2014 01:13

That's amazing! Congratulations! :)

LadyPeter · 19/03/2014 01:20

that's just what I wanted to hear! Thanks. So great to live in a time when it's getting to be not such a big deal. I have two boys and have always done the 'when you bring your first girlfriends OR boyfriends home...' and talked about being gay as entirely as equal and valid as being straight so I do feel chuffed that it seems to have paid off. love the idea that they can be start to be openly gay early and so have fun with all the normal crushes you have at that age. Just felt a bit tearful last night when he said it really so clearly for the first time- partly out of pride for him but also bit of anxiety too.

OP posts:
moldingsunbeams · 24/03/2014 00:12

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Dottymum2 · 24/03/2014 23:20

Don't have any experience with this but sounds like you are raising a confident young man who knows who he is. It must come with it's own worries as a parent but with your support I'm sure he will be fine.

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