Letting my 11 year old get her nose pierced, very worried!

[Saffan]

I have a 11 year old daughter who is very sweet and sensible. Two whole years ago she started wanting her nose pierced, I said no way and she has kept bringing it up almost every day since then!

Four months ago I asked her what she wanted for christmas and she said her nose pierced. I ended up agreeing that she can have her nose pierced for christmas between christmas day and new years but she'll get no other presents. So now it's 5 days before christmas and I've only got her half a dozen little things and I'm panicking!

I'm not worried about the piercing, she's very sensible and I have one myself. Just what are people going to think of me!? People are going to stare at her, then at me and think I'm a terrible mother, she's only in primary school. My DH thinks I'm blowing things out of proportion and is no help at all.

I'm sure I don't want to stop her now but what do I do? What would you do? I just can't sleep I can't stop thinking about it. What would you think about a mother letting her 11 year old pierce her nose? What should I do?

[Kikithecat]

I also have a small scar on my face and yes people DO comment - they are trying to be helpful and say things like "oh, you've got a pen mark there.." etc. It happens regularly.

[pinkyredrose]

randon eyebrow piercings almost always leave a scar. The skin Is much thinner there.

Am shocked at so much negative judgement plus people saying wait until shes 18. She wants a piercing not a baby!

Nose piercings are generally easier to look after and faster healing, it's a more stable piercing than the ears, also it tends to get caught on things less.

All these people saying they wouldn't let their daughter have a nose piercing are you the same people teaching your daughters bodily autonomy? But then deciding they don't have enough bodily autonomy to decide to wear a small nose stud?

[LittleBearPad]

She's 11. She's too young.

People will judge you but worse they will judge your daughter. It's not fair but it will happen. Tell her to wait until she's 16 or 18. Buy her some temporary ones that stick on.

[Edenviolet]

Piercing under 16 s is not illegal.

Dn had her belly button pierced and her side by her hip pierced earlier this year and she is just 12. I was shocked as thought it was illegal but checked and it is allowed. Not for me I'm afraid, my dd1 is 12 and I only allowed her to get her ears pierced just a few months ago.

If she ever wants more piercings she will have to wait till she is 18.

[RiaOverTheRainbow]

Bodily autonomy requires the maturity to understand consequences. An 11yo can't decide to get a one direction tattoo or to never shower, or IMO to get a facial piercing.

[EirikurNoromaour]

I don't have a problem with piercing, I have had facial piercings and multiple ears and I'm not judgemental. However I wouldn't agree to a DD having a facial piercing before 16. She may go and do it herself at 13-14 in which case I would shrug but I wouldn't facilitate it. I think 11 is far too young for a facial piercing.

[pinkyredrose]

I fail to see the 'consequences' of a nose piercing. If people judge that says more about them than the piercing.

Nose piercing IS mainstream these days.

[RiaOverTheRainbow]

It's not mainstream for pre-teens.

[randomAXEofkindness]

It was 'mainstream' on the council estate where I grew up. Girls used to pierce themselves with a shared unsterilised needle behind the off-licence.

It hasn't been mainstream anywhere I have lived or worked since.

[HyvaPaiva]

As if.

[cuppachai]

11?????! No.

[EirikurNoromaour]

Lots of things are mainstream for adults or teens but that doesn't mean they should be mainstream for children.

[Alibabaandthe40nappies]

pinky I don't know where you live, but nose piercing is definitely not mainstream here. Not on adults, and especially not on 11 year old girls.

[Wuxiapian]

She's too young.

[Floralnomad]

What's it got to do with having Christmas presents ,I'm obviously painfully out of touch if piercings have got really expensive . It would be a no from me anyway and there is no way the schools my children attended would have allowed it .

[freckledleopard]

Well, I'd probably be a little taken-aback if I met an 11 year old with a nose piercing, BUT, frankly, if this is something she's wanted for two years and is sensible enough to take care of it herself, then there's no real difference between having her nose pierced and having her ears pierced.

As a child (from the age of three onwards) all I wanted was to have pierced ears. I begged, sobbed, cajoled, pleaded for years. My mother's reply was "not until you're 16". So when I was 11 I did them myself with a needle .

In the grand scheme of things, it's a tiny hole in her nose. I had my nose pierced for a few months when I was 14. There's a teeny scar that no-one has ever noticed.

If you're sure it's what your DD wants, and you can't persuade her to wait a little more, then go for it!

[broccolirocks]

Too young, sorry. Would worryabout scarring because she's still growing.

[TravellingToad]

Sorry I would judge you and your DD hugely :(

[Xfirefly]

coming from someone who had a lot of piercings I wouldn't allow it. I had 3 nose piercings which were all sore and I removed them a few weeks later ( and I looked after them). I had all my piercings over 16. if I had wanted them younger then I'd needed parental permission. I don't know many schools who would allow facial piercings.

[Pooka]

It is not remotely mainstream where I live or at dd's primary school for parents to have facial piercings. Let alone a year 6 child.

One of my friends at the school has nose stud. Her partner has the thing where you have large plug in ear and various piercings on his face. They are the only ones I see with more alternative piercings.

ALL the secondary schools round here have blanket ban on facial piercings.

Dd may get her ears pierced in the summer holidays between primary and secondary. I would rather she didn't because of the faff involved. I got mine done at 18 and by 20 had stopped wearing earrings because I couldnt be bothered any more.

I would judge op.

[Minnieisthedevilmouse]

Great idea op. Will you light her fag for her when she thinks smoking is cool too?

Look that's harsh. But I think you have made a mistake. Google the recommendations, must be some on this. It's a beauty type item. You will be judged. What's worse is so will she, she will now be looked at as one of 'those' kids. Not any positive thing just because people see a nose ring! If you're lucky she will cope but IMO she shouldn't have to.

It's hard enough being 11. I do not get why you would try to make it harder!

[Sidge]

Drinking alcohol, having sex and smoking is pretty mainstream too.

FOR ADULTS.

I'm a HCP and if I saw an 11 year old with an unconventional piercing (and in preteens anywhere apart from the ears is unconventional) then I would seriously wonder what else the child is allowed or encouraged to do.

[youaretooyoung97]

Well I'm 17 and I have a number of piercings including my ear lobes twice, my tragus, my top cartralidge twice, my belly button and a scaffold bar. But I COMPLETELY disagree with an 11 year old getting any piercing. Let alone a facial piercing. Do you know how many opportunities you could prevent her from having? Some jobs and careers don't allow visible piercings, let alone schools. I know for a fact that if she came into my school with a nose piercing which she couldn't or wouldn't remove; she'd be excluded. No doubt.

You've been very naive and irresponsible to have said yes, if I'm honest.

[Notmyidea]

There are many things I'll judge parents and pity their children for, a nose piercing isn't one of them. The school I work in would require it to be removed, though.

[lljkk]

meh, it's normal in some cultures, anyway.
But noses hurt a lot more than ears & are slightly more risky.
My nose is pierced.
Definitely leave it as something to look forward to as a teen.