Letting my 11 year old get her nose pierced, very worried!

[Saffan]

I have a 11 year old daughter who is very sweet and sensible. Two whole years ago she started wanting her nose pierced, I said no way and she has kept bringing it up almost every day since then!

Four months ago I asked her what she wanted for christmas and she said her nose pierced. I ended up agreeing that she can have her nose pierced for christmas between christmas day and new years but she'll get no other presents. So now it's 5 days before christmas and I've only got her half a dozen little things and I'm panicking!

I'm not worried about the piercing, she's very sensible and I have one myself. Just what are people going to think of me!? People are going to stare at her, then at me and think I'm a terrible mother, she's only in primary school. My DH thinks I'm blowing things out of proportion and is no help at all.

I'm sure I don't want to stop her now but what do I do? What would you do? I just can't sleep I can't stop thinking about it. What would you think about a mother letting her 11 year old pierce her nose? What should I do?

[Stormii]

hello I am not a mum I am a 12 year old girl and my dad is a police officer and I got my nose pierced when I was 9 it is her decision and is NOT illegal, many thanks bye

[Jamela122]

Look. You are not daft or batty and it is a tricky situation to be in but in the end she is your daughter and should be able to do things that you allow her to do I do agree that 11 is quite young and most Peircing shops will not do it if she is under 16 but she is your child and it’s your decision to be made if people look at you or call you a bad mother you are not you are a fair mother who keeps her promise

[namechange20050]

Zombie!!!!!!!!

[Megnadaniel]

Well I personally think it's ok if that is what she wants my 12 year old has her nose, belly button and ears pierced some people say I'm a bit thick but that is what she wanted she is a beautiful girl and it helps her as quite a few of her friends has it and there is no legal age in the uk but just make sure you go to someone you know you trust

[Gregisemo]

I'm 12 myself I have a multitude of piercings all of wich I did myself.
People judge me and stare at me but I don't pay any notice to it. My nose piercing is healed as I've had it since nine my lip piercings are on there way and my eyebrow bar is also on its way to being fully healed my parents are not to happy with my decisions but they don't mind other people seeing me this way and neither do I
No one will pierce your daughter it's not legal unless you fancy doing it yourself and even then it's dogey.

[YouAreMyRain]

ZOMBIE THREAD ALERT

[Pizzapopunicorn]

I'm not a mom,I'm 11,and Canadian.I have my nosed peirced!if she is mature go for it i dont get stared at!

[Flumpsnlumpsnstuff]

I have a dd who's 11 and I have multiple piercings and tatts, the first piercing was done age 13 and was belly button and tattoo was 14, I looked older and had been sneaking to the pub where he drank at the weekend! 2 facts here, I'm a qualified professional now and find attitudes towards me change when people see the tatts and piercings and all my facial ones have had to be removed to get a job although I still love them. Would I let my daughter have 1 now No no way or how while I have the power to make her life easier I will maintain the status quo when she's older I will support her individuality. But if she sneaks out and does it? Then I have to explain how the attitudes of others rightly or wrongly will see her as a lesser person, boys will see her as 'easy' and parents will see her as a bad seed easy to blame when her and little tarquin get into trouble, and then I will make her take it out. When she's 18 though I will hold her hand and help her choose her path and support her, it's all about knowing and understanding the consequences

[Adarajames]

Zombie thread, or is that judgemental zombies?!

[chrome100]

Bloody hell, you lot are judgemental so and so's

It's a small piercing. I don't see the issue at all. And I speak as someone who doesn't even have their ears pierced because it's not for me. Chances are she'll get bored of it soon enough anyway.

[Chillyegg]

The reality of getting a piercing might frighten her.
I've had my nose re pierced loads and I love having piercings.

However an 11 year old! Sat on a bed with loads of shelves full of needles and grim things ( because she definitely can't have a piercing with a gun.) Them they clamp your nose and all you can see is giant need coming at your face then the crunch and pain of it going in, the swelling and soreness, them cutting the needle!

Is it worth it at that age?

[Whiskeygurl]

I'm Sry but I don't agree with everyone else. It's just a piercing! No matter what anyone does whatever age you are you will ALWAYS be judged!!! I guess I'm a bad mom cuz im letting my daughter get her nose pierced. She's an honor roll student & I've always rewarded my children for doing good in school. No if it was a tattoo she was wanting then no not yet. I as a parent do not think letting your child get her nose pierced is bad parenting at all! This is what's wrong with society.... NO MATTER WHAT ONE DOES YOU WILL ALWAYS BE JUDGED!!!! My motto, judge on! I know how my children are & I know I'm a awesome parent! I don't need anyone's approval for anything I do for my children!

[WaitMonkey]

I really want to know if the op allowed her daughter to go ahead with this.

[exexpat]

I think the OP would find it hard to find a reputable piercer who would do it at that age.

DD is 11 and got her ears pierced this week. I didn't want to let a minimally-trained shop assistant in Claire's do it, so I researched the local options. The proper licensed, inspected piercing studio down the road won't do anything for anyone under 14, and the place we ended up - a branch of Blue Banana, which does all kinds of piercing - will only do earlobes for under 13s with parental consent, no other piercings at that age. Any piercer that would do other things for pre-teens is likely to be a bit dodgy imo.

[SirChenjin]

If you don't want her to have one then "no" is a complete sentence.

Grow up and be her parent, not her mate.

[HollaAtMeBaby]

If your DD has gone on about this "almost every day fir two whole years" then you have not been firm enough in the way you've said no! Toughen up!

[LittleNoona]

I think it's a bit young tbh.

My dd is almost 15 and wants her nose pierced too. I have said no.

Ears I'm fine with. Dd has 1 hole in one ear and 3 (one stretched) in the other. Ears I feel are different, not as visible as a facial piercing.

I have my nose and my tongue pierced and love my nose stud. I wear a tiny sparkly flat stud and I think it looks pretty.

But I'm 34. For an 11 year old? No way.

[biryani]

Sorry! been on the cooking sherry again!

I was going to say that tattoos, for example, were very much NOT the norm a few years ago. Now they're everywhere. They're the norm. Nose studs are going the same way, I think. I've seen many (older) adults with them.

And I think the OP has one herself. The dd has seen it,, likes it, and wants one.

Personally I think it's a bit young, but judging a person's values by a tiny piece of jewellery which can easily be removed is a bit much, imo.

Personally I like to see people expressing individuality. The dd is getting to the age where she wants to express hers, so why shouldn't she?

[LightsPlease]

To the people saying white British culture. . How do you
Know shes white? Why assume.

[biryani]

bun it's not the cultural norm, agreed. Not yet, anyway. But attitudes will change over time:o

[Bunbaker]

"At the end of the day, it's a tiny hole with ( probably) a tiny stud in it. What's the big issue?"

In my case I just don't find facial piercings attractive. People will judge because it isn't the cultural norm for such a young child to have facial piercings. And most schools will make the child remove it anyway so I don't see the point.

[Tuhlulah]

Saffan,

I think she is far too young. I would certainly look at her and thinks she was a child of feckless and common parents. Because allowing an 11 year old to have things inserted into her skin is just not right as far as I am concerned and I would never do it myself or allow my DS to do it either. You may well say that what i think doesn't make it wrong for you -you may be right, but I think it's ugly and irresponsible.

However, you say that she can have one and she will have no other present for CHristmas. But you appear to have already bought her 6 presents, small or not.

I don't get your reasoning behind this, but if you say it do you not think you should stick to it? It looks a bit inconsistent -and if you are inconsistent then you will agree to the next lot of facial piercing. A nose stud at 11 is quite something -what will she want for her 12 birthday - how can she top a nose stud? What if she gets infected or scarred? She can thank you for that when she's older and maybe has the good sense to regret it.

[honeybunny14]

I was 12 when.i got mine done dont have it now though if its what she wants i would agree but your child your choice.

[Ninasaurus]

No pinky you're wrong sorry. Just did a quick google to back me up and I also know from personal experience as my scars from childhood are all still evident whilst similar scars from adulthood have already faded, some barely visible. Something about the healing process in childhood is stronger resulting in thicker scars.

[pinkyredrose]

ninasaurus it's the opposite actually. Older skin scars easier than younger skin. Younger skin heals faster.