Son, 9 and moods

[jofeb04]

Hi all, needing a bit of advice. My ds is 9 (10 February) and generally is a lovely boy. Until we say no especially in the evening.
He will shout, cry, say some awful stuff (which he sometimes apologises for in the morning). It started Around June this year, and seemed to stop. But now it can be almost every day. He seems to really struggle with his anger. it will normally pass within a hour or until he falls asleep.
Any advice?

No advice but if it helps my 9YO is exactly the same!

He is currently in bed crying. He was fab all day then he kicked off as we said it was too late to watch a film (didnt end until now!). Lovely to know it is not just us

My 9yo is being a bit like this too.

Is he generally OK with school and friends and stuff? We had a few weeks of lots of tears and then he finally admitted a boy at school has been being mean to him. Got that sorted and he's been much better again.

It feels like they are at a real inbetween stage, doesn't it? So keen to be more grownup yet not ready to let go of more childish things at times too. I wonder if they have lots of conflicting feelings about growing up (although they probably couldn't articulate it as such).

Early bed!

10 is too late.

My 9 yr old becomes a gremlin if he stats up too late, all emotional and angry.

An 8pm bed time works (8:30 weekends).

Kids this age need more sleep than people think, IMO

Your DS just sounds overtired.

Good point fiscal - ds goes to bed at 8pm on school nights too.

Thanks for the responses. I think he is also tired, he goes up to bed at 8pm but nothing we do will help him sleep He's sleeping now. School is ok, struggling with the academic side but enjoys it with good friends. He said he was sorry as well and asked for a cwtch.

Yes to early bedtimes.
sleep is the one thing you can control, simple but helps in so many ways, anger, concentration, moodiness, tears......

Mine have both had a grim year 5. Both happy in year 6. So plenty of grin-and -bear -it til it passes. In the meantime, plenty of regular sleep/ good food / Exercise/ etc.

Hormones fly around a lot from this age so there's a lot going on in their lives that makes them unpredictable.

My DS was horrible at this age until about 11/12. He was angry a lot and couldn't say why or what was bothering him.

Now at 13 he is a lovely young man, helpful and funny. Not sure how long it will be before teenage hormones kick in but I am enjoying the peace.

I have found my boy to be harder work than my girls!

Hang in there and try to pick your battles.

Mine always says he can't /won't sleep!

I always say he does not have to sleep at all, just lie in the dark in his bed relaxing. No pressure to actually sleep. Oddly, sleep often comes to him in this set up ;)

Also, lots of hugs and he needs. 5 minutes of hugging/ chatting with me before bed every night. They can have lots of worries at this age about school, friendships, etc.

Agree to earlier bed times. Do you read to him at bed time ? He might enjoy this quiet 1-1 time. We still read to our DS9. Admittedly we didn't with our elder DC's as bedtimes were more hectic then.