I disagree with the premise of the post, that self reliance in the mornings at age 12 is necessarily a good thing.
My Dad used to wake me with a cup of tea every morning.
I then showered, put on clean uniform mum had washed and ironed.
Then I had a hot breakfast (poached egg, bacon and beans) that mum cooked for me.
This went on till I left home at 18.
I now do the same for my own children, its one of the things I'm most conscientious about. Its a bit boasty but it's true: we are NEVER late for school, we NEVER forget kit/homework/permission slips, my kids are always well breakfasted, well groomed etc.
I think it's the example from my own parents shining through. In fact having had such a good level of care from my own parents has made me determined to live up to it and provide the same to my own kids.
So I don't think it necessarily follows that by mothering your kids you turn them into entitled zombies. It all depends how its done. There is a difference between mothering them and spoiling them/putting up with yobby or entitled behaviour (my parents wouldn't have stood for a moment of THAT!)
Interesting my DH who went to boarding school and had to be very self disciplined, is to my mind now a bit lax in terms of giving our kids a good send off for the day. Sometimes he forgets to give them a drink (though not recently since I bent his ear about it!), sometimes he forgets to send hats/gloves if needed .
He is brilliant in other ways, but he hasnt had the experience of having a parent really care for you. So he is a bit hampered when he tries to do it himself.