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Preteens

Parenting a preteen can be a minefield. Find support here.

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Original poster

Ear piercing

24 replies

Angie1978 · 23/07/2013 12:36

DD has thrown a magnificent strop over the weekend (seriously I nearly started clapping at one point) as just everyone she knows is having their ears pierced this summer holidays and she isn't.

DD is 7 and I've always said she should wait until around 10 to have them done, am I deluding myself that I should/could make her wait that long?

OP posts:

ilovepowerhoop · 23/07/2013 12:42

I wouldnt have had a problem with my dd getting them done at that age although she is nearly 10 but shows no inclination for getting them pierced. Mine were done around the age of 7 too.

Hulababy · 23/07/2013 12:46

DD was told she was allowed hers done after finishing primary school - so beginning of summer holidays after finishing Y6, age 11y.

She did just that this weekend. She is old enough to keep them clean, look after them herself, etc.

cloudskitchen · 24/07/2013 09:22

I don't think you are deluding yourself. My daughter had hers done at 10 - they were wonky though so had to come out. Having them pierced again tomorrow. quite honestly its easier to wait until the end of year 6 as most senior schools allow them. Our primary does not and therefore they have to take them out every day. I bet on closer inspection only 1 or 2 are actually having theirs pierced

WithASpider · 24/07/2013 09:27

At that age everyone counts for about 4 people they know! :o

DD1 is 9.6 and is having hers done tonight. We had the magnificent strop too, at approximately the same age as your DD. She was told that she could have them done when she was 9, and at the start of the summer hols. No sooner. Any complaining and the deal was off and she'd have to wait till she was 16 and could pay herself.

DD2 is under the same rules, except it means she'll be almost 10 when she gets hers done! (August born)

MrsMongoose · 24/07/2013 12:29

Why not promise them her for her next birthday as a present? Rather than just stomping her feet and getting what she wants.

Tbh, I see no problem getting ears done at seven. My rules have always been 'when she was old enough to want them doing, and understand the significance of cleaning.' If she's this upset about not having them done, I'd think she was there.

I had mine done at 8 or 9, and my Dad cried :')

BackforGood · 24/07/2013 19:44

I'd suggest she widens her social circle then.
My youngest is 11 - end of Yr6. There's around 45 girls in her year, and I don't reckon there's more than half a dozen who have pierced their ears.

dd1 had hers done when she was 13

ThreeBeeOneGee · 24/07/2013 22:05

I have told DD (9) that she can have hers done at the beginning of the holidays after Y6. A few of her friends have theirs pierced already, but not 'everyone'.

DontCallMeBaby · 24/07/2013 23:11

DD is 9 and is having them done this summer - if she doesn't chicken out! Unless anyone else reappears in September with pierced ears she'll be the second in the class, behind the resident fashion princess. I've been lucky though, she's not nagged, just rather conveniently decided at the start of the summer hols she'd like them done, and I figured why not? I was 14 though, and my dad only relented cos HIS 75yo mother had hers done, so dare say the GPs will disapprove!

I'd have considered 7, tbh, tho not in the aftermath of a tantrum. But at that age I'd talk up the pain a bit, and the absolute necessity of keeping them clean (perhaps throwing in my horror story of Cartilage Piercing Gone Bad) and see if she remains keen.

NoComet · 24/07/2013 23:26

10th or 11th birthdays round here. I can only think of one DD who had her ears pierced before she was 9 and that was obviously her families tradition.

Lonecatwithkitten · 27/07/2013 15:54

The conversation with my 9 year goes like this:
When can I have my ears pierced?
The summer after you are 12?
Ahhh everyone else it get theirs done this summer.
I don't care I am not everyone else's parent.
You are the worst parent in the world.
I probably am yes.
In actual fact everyone is the two spoilt princesses out of 30. They are not allowed to wear them to school, so I really can't see the point.

pollywollydoodle · 27/07/2013 16:55

it's not till she's 16 here...dd9y doesn't seem unduly bothered
though she would have liked 1 ear done, like a pirate
there have been a trickle of pics on FB this week

FionaJT · 28/07/2013 21:01

My dd is 8, I have always said she has to wait til the summer before secondary, but a lot of her friends had ears pierced early on (nursery/reception age). She hassled a bit then, but now a few of them have actually taken their earrings out and let them heal, so she is feeling a bit smug! She is not good at taking responsibility for herself/her things yet so I feel justified in making her wait (although it is really because I don't like the look of it on little girls!). I wasn't allowed mine done until I was 12, and even that was a fight!

MangoJuiceAddict · 28/07/2013 23:25

My DD had her ears pierced at 2 years old but this wasn't my choice- my MIL took her to get them pierced. Needless to say I was furious. But I would say 10 years old is the ideal age- old enough to make the decision for themselves and to understand the pain and say when it hurts. Maybe let her hear some horror stories of how painful infection can be? Or make her wait until Christmas?

Fifi2406 · 28/07/2013 23:35

I desperately wanted mine done from about 6 my mum let me do it when I turned 10 and my birthday is nearly at the start of the summer holiday...I was unimpressed I had to wait that long but I'm over it now! Do what you think is best for her and when you know she's responsible enough to take care of them without you nagging her to clean them etc

MrsShrek3 · 29/07/2013 00:48

my dd is also 7, no way to getting them done yet (we have had several brief conversations about it as she likes earrings) We have got her some nice clip on earrings for parties etc, and as she spends much of her time doing dance, swimming, gymnastics and tennis she understood that it was more of a danger to have them done at this stage. Also discussed yr6, 11ish as being a good age if she still wants to then.

lljkk · 29/07/2013 09:59

7-8 is pretty common here. I think it was middle of yr4 for DD (no regrets). I think best to wait until you know they can be responsible for daily cleaning. Even for swim lessons they can't have earrings in, never mind other PE. So maybe next summer.

Sparrow8 · 29/07/2013 10:09

My dd had hers done in the summer holidays when she was 9. She had wanted them from about age 7 and we had always said she had to wait until 10. However lots of her friends already had them so we agreed to it earlier.

han3459 · 03/09/2013 00:24

My DD is 11 and has two in each ear. I can't remember exactly but the first was around 3-4 and second on her 11th birthday. I don't see any problem with it

specialsubject · 03/09/2013 08:51

check school rules and make sure she is actually going to clean and turn them. Otherwise it is infection, earrings out and holes healed and a waste of money.

meditrina · 03/09/2013 09:05

I've fended it off again. DD is going in to year5 and a few of her classmates have pierced ears and the pestering is rising.

But most (according to the other school run parents I know) will not be allowed before the summer between primary and secondary school.

Tigerblue · 03/09/2013 09:35

My daughter had hers done for her 11th birthday. She was one of the last third to get them done, but my argument was that if she can't remember to clean her face and teeth, I wasn't convinced she'd remember to clean them.

Some schools will insist they take them out for PE/games or cover them up. As my daughter was moving onto a comp who stated they had to be removed, I had them done at the start of the holidays.

PantsInWash · 07/09/2013 22:33

hmm my DD is 11 and still hasn't had hers done. We are in a 3 tier school system and had hoped to hold out until end of Yr8 when she leaves her current school, but have relented as she genuinely appears to be the last one of her circle of friends without pierced ears. So she will have them done at the end of Yr7.

Interesting point about remembering to wash face and clean teeth - mine is rubbish at that and still has to be reminded

mrspremise · 14/09/2013 14:58

I had to wait until I was 14. My parents then 'relented' and let me have it done at 12 as a confirmation present. I suspect now that 12 was their plan all along but they said what they did to avoid the nagging from age 10 or whatever I'm afraid that I am one of those 'earrings on little children are a bit eeew' people, but each to their own

VerySmallSqueak · 14/09/2013 15:04

I always said when they go to secondary school but have just caved in to my 9 year old.

Tbh she is perfectly capable of the care needed and sensible enough so I'm happy with that.

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