My 9 year old DS has always been 'spooked' by things and afraid of being alone but it is getting worse not better with age. He won't go upstairs on his own, even to his own bedroom and doesn't like being downstairs if we are upstairs. He will put the TV on for background noise if it can't be avoided. Now at bedtime he won't even go to clean his teeth in the bathroom alone, although we are only in the next room. He leaves flushing the toilet until last and then runs at top speed to get away from the bathroom. We live in a big old three story Victorian house and I understand it could be a bit 'Scooby-doo' to a young child, but it has a lovely atmosphere and had a really nice family living in it before we did.
I asked him what he was afraid of and he said the things in the bathroom (& other rooms) won't come out if there is an adult there. He says he sees visions which spook him (things like black wings and shapes). He had his eyes tested recently and all is well.
I feel for him as I was /still am afraid of the dark, but hand on heart, I have never shared this with him. I don't rubbish his fears but try to rationalise them and im afraid if I made him feel silly that he would stop communicating his fears to me. His dad is not afraid of anything, doesn't believe in anything going bump in the night without a logical explanation, and is getting very frustrated with him.
We love him very much and can't bear to see him so afraid, sometimes to the point that he cries in fear of these things.
Any advice would be welcome. We worry that taking him to a doctor would reinforce it by saying that there is something wrong with him. Which of course, there isn't. He is a very sensitive and loving child, he is doing well at school and seems to be happy in all other ways.
Background info - his grandad died a year ago. This wonderful man was like a third parent to him. Recently his other grandad has been poorly but we've explained that its not life threatening poorly. It may be a contributing factor, but this behaviour was well underway before any of this happened.
Sorry about the length of this post, I just wanted to try and put as much info in as I could. Thank you.
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9 yr old having irrational fears of many things - please help
5 replies
nminx · 04/07/2013 01:43
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