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Parenting a preteen can be a minefield. Find support here.

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Parenting a preteen can be a minefield. Find support here.

Preteens

Jezabel - should I take offence?

31 replies

Witco · 19/03/2013 22:45

My daughter made her confirmation last week and I emailed a few photos to my MIL who replied that she looked like a Jezabel! I am trying hard not to take offence! She was wearing a knee length dress from Mango and a tailored jacket, no make up or jewellery. WTF? DH says I am over-reacting but I don't see how?

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Notquite · 19/03/2013 22:58

Was the dress a c

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Notquite · 19/03/2013 23:00

Is the dress colourful and was MiL expecting her to be in white?

If so she has perhaps overstated her case just a tad...

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Witco · 19/03/2013 23:01

C? It was a smart, tailored shift dress. Nothing chavvy or revealing. I don't understand the comment at all. Everyone else had said how pretty she looked.

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Witco · 19/03/2013 23:02

White would be for her Communion and she had that at age 7

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noisytoys · 19/03/2013 23:04

Are you sure she didn't mean Jezebel (the Disney princess). She's beautiful

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Witco · 19/03/2013 23:09

There's a Disney Jezabel? I don't remember that one?

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noisytoys · 19/03/2013 23:17

Enchanted

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Witco · 19/03/2013 23:20

Ah! I doubt it, MIL is 70 and not in the cinema too much these days. AIBU do you think?

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noisytoys · 19/03/2013 23:25

I don't know another Jezabel (mid 20s, 2DDs all I know is Disney princesses), but from your description your DD looked beautiful and perfect for the occasion

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Notquite · 19/03/2013 23:27

I suspect/hope MiL isn't entirely aware of the significance of her own reference, but I can see why you're a little

Roll eyes and ignore.

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Witco · 19/03/2013 23:30

I'm trying Notquite! Grrrrrr!

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seeker · 19/03/2013 23:34

I am pretty sure there isn't a Disney princess called Jezebel!

Did you ask her what she meant? Could you have misheard or she got her words muddled? It does seem a very odd thing to say.....

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noisytoys · 19/03/2013 23:35

You're right my bad

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Witco · 20/03/2013 08:56

I haven't asked her what she means (it was an email). DH thinks I should just ignore it and I probably will it just p!ssed me off. DD looked beautiful and modest and I hate the fact that MIL chose to see something else and had to have a dig.

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SissySpacekAteMyHamster · 20/03/2013 09:01

Maybe she was thinking that she should be in white. In the film Jezebel Bette Davis wears a colourful dress instead of the white one she should (if I remember correctly).

I would try not to take offence as often things said in writing don't come across the same as spoken, so maybe she wasn't meaning to be offensive.

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Movingtimes · 20/03/2013 09:02

That would infuriate me, but are you sure MIL knew what she was saying? If she did then you are definitely not overreacting - that is an appalling thing to say, especially as her outfit sounds perfectly appropriate for the occasion. I would certainly email MIL back and politely ask her to clarify that comment. It is NOT ok to let her think that nasty digs like that will pass unchallenged.

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Mumofjz · 20/03/2013 12:46

Jezabel would mean a bit tarty in my eyes and would definately be a bit miffed and would probably ask her to clarify.

I think she's probably got her words mixed up.

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Witco · 20/03/2013 13:45

I think it would be better not to email back. I'm seeing her on Saturday so I will raise it then and see what she says. Stupid woman! Thanks all

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seeker · 20/03/2013 13:47

She must have got her words muddled up. There are people on here who thought that a Jezebel was a Disney princess-it's something like that- I couldn't be more sure.

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CostaTen · 20/03/2013 14:11

She didn't say she looks like Jezael though did she? She said she looks like a Jezabel and in my book that means one thing. You are not overreacting OP and I would definitely challenge her about it face to face.

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Bunbaker · 20/03/2013 14:12

Jezebel was a Queen of Israel. She persecuted Jews and was not a very nice person. The name is generally associated with evil, harlotry and madness.

I have never heard of a Disney Princess calles Jezabel.

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TobyLerone · 20/03/2013 14:14

I wouldn't be best pleased about that.

I can't remember what I wore for my confirmation, but it definitely wasn't white.

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ZZZenAgain · 20/03/2013 14:14

that's a very strange comment for her to have made

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Kendodd · 20/03/2013 14:15

As an aside, I love the name Jezebel. I suggested it for one of my DD's, wisely it wasn't used. Still a beautiful name though, shame about the baggage.

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ZZZenAgain · 20/03/2013 14:19

maybe back in the 1950s white would have been usual (when they wore those robes in red/white). Your dd sounds as if she was dressed the way most girls would be for it. Was the dress black maybe? That could be it, I suppose, still very strange comment. When I see group photos, the girls either have on trousers and a top or a dress, skirt with top. Quite a few seem to wear black.

I will be hard put getting my dd into a dress for hers so she will be one of those in trousers and a top.

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