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Preteens

Parenting a preteen can be a minefield. Find support here.

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Original poster

Can I ask is dd 11 too young to use tampons?

47 replies

cappucinogirl4 · 31/01/2013 13:46

My dd is 11 and started her periods in the summer holidays last year.She uses regular bodyform towels but a friend suggested tampons.We went on holiday in october and her period started on the second to last day.Cue much hysteria as she couldn't go swimming.We are going abroad again in October and the only way around the swimming thing is to use tampons.
But is she too young? To be honest she is embarrassed about periods as it is without the suggestion of tampons! I reckon I was about 15 when I started using them.
I would be grateful if anyone could give some advice or let me know their experiences with their dd's.
I just feel she is too young!
Thanks

OP posts:

THERhubarb · 31/01/2013 13:51

I would think she was too young as well.
I reckon if she tried them she'd find them very uncomfortable. To be honest I couldn't wear them until I started having sex as before then it felt really horrible trying to insert them and I could feel them all the time. It wasn't pleasant.

At 11 I think she will be tiny in that region. However aren't there any slimmer tampons on the market now aimed at teenagers? I would do your research and perhaps have a chat with her about what they are and how to use them.

She shouldn't be embarrassed about her periods, bless, they are a very natural part of life. If you tell her about yours and start to discuss them a little more without a hint of embarrassment then she might start to loosen up and may be happy to chat with you?

THERhubarb · 31/01/2013 13:53

A-ha look! Tampons for Girls she might get on better with these.

Tommy · 31/01/2013 13:54

I started wearing them after about 4 months of starting my periods (12) My mum was very anti me trying them but I sent off for a trial pack from Tampax or somewhere. I remember it being very helpful. I can't imagine why you wouldn't be happy for your DD to use them although my friend is the same with her DD so I guess I just don't know, not having and DDs...

brainonastick · 31/01/2013 13:55

I used them years before I started having sex, it wasn't uncomfortable. Maybe it just depends how you're built . Only one way for her to find out...

perceptionreality · 31/01/2013 13:56

I used tampons before I had sex - found it fine, but then I find smears painless so we are all different.

I would just buy some for her to try and see if they suit her - if they don't she could just leave it and go back to towels. Tampax are slimmer and easier to put in than say lillets ime.

dobby2001 · 31/01/2013 13:56

Back in the old days when I started my periods (I was about 13/14) my sisters all had boxes of super plus tampax and I tried (and failed very undomfortably) to use those. I really wanted to not have to miss swimming at school or explain why I couldn't though, so instead i tried lilets minis - they were alot more comfortable and because i was not using an applicator, found it easier to gauge where to go, if that makes sense.

I later switched to tampax slender, which came out alot more confortably and if i remember rightly, were specifically design for young girls who were erm, still intact, so to speak They have probably rebranded those items now, but I remember the tampax were in a pink branded box.

The other alternative is a small size mooncup - i found mooncups to be brilliant but they are not to everyones liking.

Original poster

cappucinogirl4 · 31/01/2013 13:56

Thanks THERhubarb.Yes I've just ordered the teen pack - it looks quite good.Might be a way of broaching the subject!
I remember trying for ages to insert them and that was when I was 15 so you're probably right she is too young.That's my gut feeling anyway.

OP posts:

Tommy · 31/01/2013 13:58

I seem to remember that I had to use KY jelly to out them in but nothing would persuade me to use towels. Unfortunately after 3 big babies, I'm back to towels again.... Roll on the menapause

Original poster

cappucinogirl4 · 31/01/2013 13:59

Thanks everyone for your thoughts :)

OP posts:

perceptionreality · 31/01/2013 14:00

I have had 3 vaginal deliveries and cannot get the smallest mooncup (for women who haven't had children) into me, sadly. I would use these if I could.

titchy · 31/01/2013 14:00

Well she can only try!

Dd's period started at the beginning of our summer holiday too, so I got some tampons (just bog standard ones - anyone know how to say Slimline tampons in Greek?! ) and left her to it (we were on an excursion and had to decamp to a busy cafe so she could use the loo - so couldn't really explain in busy caffe!

titchy · 31/01/2013 14:02

Sorry - dd was 13.

whatyoulookinat · 31/01/2013 14:03

I used them on my second period age 11 with no problems. Don't understand the comments about being too small to use them.

anklebitersmum · 31/01/2013 14:06

I was an early starter at 11 too. Used tampax slim to start with, same as regular but a bit slimmer.

As long as she follows the instructions and doesn't stress out too much she'll be fine.

Madmog · 31/01/2013 14:07

I think generally most Mums feel it's best to leave it a while before their girls try tampons so they have a clear idea of flow and know they are responsible enough to change them regularly. As your concerned about an occasional one off, you could buy her a pack of mini tampons. You could suggest she tries them a few times during the first couple of days of her periods, and if she can get them right, then she could use them just for swimming.

FortyFacedFuckers · 31/01/2013 14:10

I started my period on holiday at 11 and my mum bought me some of the little mini tampons and I was fine with them. I would let her try them if she wants to.

CailinDana · 31/01/2013 14:12

I'm a bit baffled as to why people are saying she'll be "too small." It's not as if her vagina is going to get much bigger in the next couple of years! Physically she's close to being able to bear children (though her pelvis will be too small) and vaginal tissue is stretchy anyway so even at 11 she should be fine. The only problem could be her hymen but once that's broken it's not an issue any more and anyway tampons won't necessarily break it.

THERhubarb · 31/01/2013 14:45

I think it depends on the child and the tampon. They do make tampons suitable for younger girls now so it could be that I was just trying to use super plus tampons that were difficult for me to use.

The issue I had was that it was just uncomfortable and felt really tight. I wasn't used to sticking things up there. I felt a bit frightened and that made me even more tense. Once you are a bit older and are more experienced, it becomes a lot easier.

Original poster

cappucinogirl4 · 31/01/2013 17:08

Thanks for everyones input.My mum died when I was 12 and I feel I have no experience with mother/daughter relationships.It's really hard!
I've ordered the lillets teenpack so when that comes I can have a chat with dd and take it from there.
Thanks everyone :)

OP posts:

QOD · 31/01/2013 17:11

Be prepared for her to point blank refuse. My dd cannot believe you have to put them inside, she's horrified.

She has twice taken hormones to delay periods, lots of people don't agree with that though, each to their own!

Startail · 31/01/2013 17:20

DD has used tampons from her 3rd period she was 12. She started with the slender applicator tampax, but they leak.

She just nicks my regular non applicator ones (which ever makes on offer). She uses towels for insurance at school. I don't bother because I'm on the mini pill and my periods are stupidly light.

DD was a bit nervous because her periods were very uncomfortable at first and everything hurt. I'm afraid I was pretty brisk with her and told her not to be daft. She loves swimming and I know her well enough to know that she's a very practical soul. She got the idea in about 5 minutes.

ripsishere · 01/02/2013 02:29

My 11.8 YO, who is desperate to start will only be using tampons. She has told me this in no uncertain terms.
FX that she can. She swims daily.

brighthair · 01/02/2013 02:36

On the flip side I can't use tampons but can use a mooncup (after a few practice runs!) with no problem

I'm not sure whether I have some kind of weird anatomy but I bleed down the side of tampons and so leak within 30 minutes

THERhubarb · 01/02/2013 10:19

Sorry to hear that cappucino.

My mum is still very much alive but we didn't really have a mother-daughter relationship either and I was very much like the film Carrie when I started mine.

My advice is to always be open and honest. My dd knows all about my periods. She has seen me change my pads from being very young. They learn shame, they are not born with it and so I've never taught them to feel ashamed or embarrassed of their own bodies. That can be hard when you have learnt shame yourself, but when they fling open the bathroom door as I'm changing my pad and then carry on as if nothing unusual is happening, you soon get used to it!

Because dd has always known about my periods, she's asked lots of questions about whether or not it hurts, how long it lasts, why it happens, etc. However you can get a book about all of this and that might be a good idea if you feel uncomfortable talking to her about it.

I would start off by showing her what you use and telling her a bit about your own periods. You can share your teenage experiences with her - have a laugh about it to break the ice. I'm sure you must have a funny story to tell her. Mine was about a girl at school who put her pad sticky side up as she thought it had to stick to your vagina rather than your knickers!

Show her the lillets website and ask if she'd like to try them for when she is swimming. Tell her how you felt about them when you were a teen. You can also show her the mooncup - her first reaction will probably be one of horror and she'll be grossed out by it, but then again you can have a laugh with her about it and joke about how on earth women manage to get it up there. She might dismiss the idea straight away but you will have piqued her curiosity and hopefully by having a laugh with her and a friendly chat, she'll be more relaxed about opening up to you in the future.

HTH

Jiddle · 02/02/2013 07:23

When I started my periods I was 12 and we lived in a tropical country where basically the only activity in school holidays was the beach. As soon as I started my period I used tampons. My mm got me the smallest size Tampax, explained how to use them, gave me a pot of Vaseline and told me to use the Vaseline to lubricate the rounded tip.

I remember doing this very clearly. I also used to put one foot up on the toilet lid, which helped it go in.

Sorry if TMI but I found this really helpful at the time and I was pleased my mum just told me what to do and let me get on with it on my own. I did spend quite a long time in the bathroom doing it but it meant o could go swimming.

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