brothers physically fighting

[pipaluk]

Can anyone offer any advise to a mum on her own during the day with two brothers getting in to physical fights. Ages 10 and 12. They just wind each other up all day and I find I am constantly hovering when they are together as I have to often haul them apart; as they are getting bigger I worry it will come to a point when I wont be able to . I know the obvious thing is to keep them apart but unfortunately with little money and no car during the day to take them out they are always together. Family live 100 miles away so I cannot call on them for help.Trying to get them to their rooms for time out is almost impossible for me as they simply refuse and I cant physically get them up there because I have a bad back, I feel unable to implement any sort of punishment and they get away with it. Husband seems unable to help when he is home leaving me totally exasperated.

Well I cant tell you this from a parents point of view but I remember my mum giving up on trying to separate us and letting us sort out our own problems - reckon it did us the world of good!! And on the plus side despite Jujitsu and Taekwondo classes I reckon if I ever did succeed in escaping from an attacker every useful trick I know I learned fighting my brother.

I reckon part of it must be boredom too - surely there's somewhere local they can get out to - a youth club (or whatever they call they these days) or some sort of school sports club where they can burn off some of that energy? Actually there surely is a local martial arts club? Don't know your financial situation but they normally don't cost the earth and teach respect and good behaviour while allowing them to punch out their frustration at the world in a controlled manner. The older one at least is old enough to get the bus if there isnt anywhere super local. Good luck xx

If they refuse to listen to you, I'd start with tackling that. You can't physically man handle pre-teens so you need to hit them where it hurts - money, computers, tv, football, xbox etc. Whatever they love the most needs to be confiscated until they earn it back through good behaviour, including listening to you.
Your husband also needs to get on board and support you.