friendship issues for 12 yr old!

[tadpole39]

My dd is just finishing year 7, its been a tricky year with a class move due to bullying. She found a group of 5 friends who were initially supportive and fun, but this seems to have deteriorated into grumpiness and accusations. Her school day seems to be taken up with placating one or the other of them for real or imagined slights and they all seem to be constantly at each other. Is this normal for this age group? I feel so sorry for her, she is constantly worried that they wont be her friend anymore, this is a real change from the beginning of the year, they're like old women with nothing better to do than bitch! All I want for her is to find a group of friends who are uncomplicated and fun with lots of socialising! Is it hormones, the end of the school year, or does she need to look elsewhere? the stress is killing me!

[FernieB]

I have twin DD's finishing year 7. I don't think it is possible at this age to find 'uncomplicated and fun' friends - am not sure they exist.

Mine now have a group of friends who are mainly okay - there is the odd up and down, but mostly they get on fine. These are not the friends they had at the beginning of the year or even halfway through. The issues you describe sound fairly normal. I think we just have to wait for their hormones to settle down a bit. Having said that, I used to work in an office full of women and they were just as bad as the year 7 girls although not as blatent.

IME the stress of it affects you more than your DD. My DD's come home, complain, whinge and sometimes cry about it, then once it's all been dumped on me they're off texting, skyping and doing their own thing while I have sleepless nights worrying about them at school. It took me a little while to work this out but now I just listen, let them moan, and provide ice cream. Once they're out of the room, I try to forget about it. I don't get involved at all. Whoever, they complained about today might be fine tomorrow.

[CeliaFate]

It's 12 year old girls, I'm afraid. Dd has been through it too. They are so vicious sometimes, they thrive on the drama (some, not all).

I agree with FernieB. Listen, sympathise, offer advice and a shoulder to cry on, then let her get on with it, she'll be fine.