Am I worrying unnecessarily

[morethanpotatoprints]

Hi.
My dd has put on weight recently and shot up going from small to average in her school class and dance class, to one of the tallest. She has developed a shape and is only 8.5. I am worried because I started my periods at 9 having been told nothing. I don't want the same to happen to dd and was wondering if I should see a health specialist and which one, just to tell me if they can see if she is near. If she was older I wouldn't be worried but I don't want to worry the poor kid.Oh the weight is tummy but all over as well.Her diet hasn't changed, nor her level of activity.I have no idea what to tell her and in what detail, she seens like a baby for all this

Natasha, many thanks for responding. Its more shapely hips and a bigger shapely bottom. Quite obvious in her leotard.There are no boobs or under arm hair but I hadn't developed these either when I started. I think I may have a bit of time but she is a very young naive 8 year old and I am not sure how graphic to make my talk. Also I had lots of pain and was violently sick first day every month until being about 14. Were you ok or did you suffer in the early years. Apparently my grandmother, mother and aunties were all very young too. However, menopause was very young and had no problems at all so at least that was a bonus.

Dd started at 10, wasn't really a problem at all. And not that uncommon these days. She seemed to cope well with the pain; I don't think it's quite as bad as I had it in the early days. She knew all she needed to know through the school and me well in advance. The school did have provision- in your case, I'd ask your dd to check that out in advance, then if they don't you can give them a quick ring once she does start.

I know this sounds stupid but I never had a talk and don't know how to put it. I was too early for school talk as this was y6 and mum hadn't said anything as she didn't expect it so young.
Any advice gratefully received. I don't want to get books and make it a big deal because I don't think it should be for dcs. Think its me that its a big deal to, lol

Why the heck does she "need to see a health specialist" ?? She is clearly starting puberty and her age isn't extreme- starting periods at 9 is within normal limits.

I can feel your anxieties about your little girl growing up. Deep breath. Sensible mum hat on and talk to her - the dorling kindersley "Whats happening to me" book is a good start. I can understand "not being able to find the words" but have you never talked about where babies come from and the differences between kids and adults in even the broadest terms? you must have surely- just carry on with that (babette cole "Hair in funny places is also a hillariously good book- and whilst you are there, if you really haven't talked about any of this stuff get "mummy laid and egg" too- and tell her it was a special deal in the bookshop or something - brilliantly factual about reproduction but laugh out loud funny too).

Please don't take her to the docs to medicalise a non problem and increase her anxieties.

Primary schools are well set up these days and are used to year 5 and 6 girls starting periods. Explain to your DD this, and that, all ladies have or have had periods- yes all of them from her young trendy much admired teacher to the oldest crabbiest dinner lady, or,.... gasp the head teacher- and they'll all be willing and able to help should she need it.

Even the male teachers have wives/girlfriends/sisters/girls of their own and are perfectly approachable too.

My girls managed to start about a week in to the summer holidays after finishing primary, but all knew a mate who started in year 5-6. My DH is a primary teacher, and as a dad to 2 teen girls , wouldn't bat an eyelid and would know where to fine the school pack of supplies.

Does she not have any idea that ladies bleed at all? My sons 4 and 8 know this just from having come to the toilet with me and asking what sanitary bins are and the like - so they would not be too worried if they were girls and it happened to them. Maybe just say the next time you're in a public loo with her - you know what that's for? Ladies bleed once a month if they're not pregnant with a baby. Job done. Lol. Well, maybe not thaaat simple but at least she won't think she's dying when it happens! Good luck with that.

I had the talk with DD when she started developing a 'shape' at 8 yo. At 14y3mo, she still hasn't started her periods yet! She takes after me, I am expecting her to start in the next 3 months or so, as I was 14y6mi when I started.

TBH, DD already knew about it from coming in the loo with me, as do my DS's. A simple explanation usually suffices, just like the above poster who said that "ladies bleed once a month if they don't have a baby in their tummy, and we use these pads to keep us clean".

Thank you all so much for the responses, I do think I was worrying unnecessarily. Will have a chat today, as missed a golden opportunity yesterday when she asked about having babies. She has a db 20 and was talking about when he and gf got married and had babies. I hope its not yet but a good starting point.

fgs, don't tell her how bad your periods were.

Hair in Funny Places (Babette Cole) is an age appropriate book about puberty. That and the basic Facts of Life are as much info as she probably needs for now. Personally I would let her know that women bleed once a month, it's part of growing up, & that whilst it's a bit yucky you get used to it & it's not too bad to clean up. Don't say it happened to you young, but at least if does happen to her unexpectedly she'll have a clue that she's not dying there and then. The last thing you want is her getting completely panic-stricken not knowing what's happening.